Secrets and Ties
by Sinceslicedbread
Summary: Brendan Brady's childhood friend Paddy is nothing like him - or is he? With his marriage on the brink, Paddy pays Brendan a visit; but will he be able to admit to his true feelings?
1. Chapter 1

SECRETS AND TIES

**A/N Will Paddy ever admit to his true feelings?**

**This story is a variation on a theme. It is my version of Chapter 3 of "Paddy's got a Secret", by the wonderful Chips2.**

**The character Paddy proved to be a powerful inspiration.**

**My adaptation can be read alone or after Chapters 1 & 2 of Chips2's brilliant tale.**

**The choice is yours.**

**I'd also like to dedicate this work to GirlWednesday and thank her for her "beta" duties, while this was a W.I.P. x**

**Enjoy x.**

**Just to recap:**

**Brendan Brady, home alone, opens his door after midnight to find his childhood friend Paddy standing on the door-step; crying, shaking, generally a mess.**

**His marriage to Brianna is in trouble.**

**-OOO-**

Brendan pondered on what he'd just heard while he re-dressed himself.

He had been surprised to say the least with what Paddy had just told him.

Surprised but not shocked.

Stirred but not shaken.

Paddy may be a childhood friend but Brendan had good reason to take everything he said with a pinch or two of salt.

Tonight however Brendan believed every word that he had stammered and stuttered.

Paddy, the renowned tough guy had crumbled in front of his eyes. His ladies-man persona had been shot to pieces.

He was a broken man.

A broken gay man.

-O-

**2 Hours Earlier**

"You'd better come in" Brendan had said hesitantly.

Brendan ushered Paddy in, eager to shut the door as he was clad in only a short bath towel.

Paddy embarrassed beyond belief had nodded his head and had entered Brendan's home, without looking up and establishing any eye-contact whatsoever.

He slowly walked towards the sofa and paused, as though he was about to ask permission to take a seat before he did so, plonking his rucksack at his feet, noisily.

"You look like you could do with a drink." Brendan said before spending more time than was strictly necessary, fixing them both a generous drop of their hometown hooch.

Paddy took the glass Brendan offered and gulped down the contents in one go.

"That'll put hairs on ye chest." Brendan joked.

Paddy looked up and gazed at his bare chest.

"So I see" he murmured before lowering his eyes again. His cheeks suddenly felt hot and he was embarrassed as to why.

Brendan cleared his throat and took a seat.

There was silence.

Paddy traced his hand over the arm of the sofa, stroking it affectionately, without thought.

"I like what you've done with the place" he said eventually.

"Did you really come all this way, in the middle of the night, to talk about soft furnishings?" Brendan pointedly asked.

Paddy flushed again and looked down at his shoes.

More silence.

"Look Pads, it's great to see you "n" all, but do you not think I should give Brianna a call to put her mind at rest?" He reached for his phone which was resting on the table between them.

Paddy's response was heated and immediate.

"No "he yelled in fear, jumping up, lunging for the phone and throwing it across the room.

Both men were stunned.

"Whoa big man, easy eh. I'll take that as a no then shall I?"

"I'm sorry Brendan I.." Paddy crossed the room and knelt to pick up the pieces of the now fractured phone.

"I'll fix it, I will, I just can't fix me." With that he broke down again. Huge hulking sobs wracked his body.

His shoulders shook for Ireland.

-O-

Brendan watched. He felt awkward.

He was used to Ste crying, although he did a lot less of that these days, but this, this unnerved him slightly. He felt as if he was witnessing a breakdown.

He knew a gesture was required.

He crouched down and placed a hand on a still shaking shoulder.

"Gerroff." Paddy growled "I don't need y your p pity. I I I don't deserve it." He stammered, his tears and emotions obscuring his speech.

"I've really f f fucked up this th this time Bren. I mean really."

Brendan grabbed hold of both of Paddy's shoulders, helped him to his feet and guided him in a stumbling fashion, back to the sofa. He poured him a much larger second drink, sat himself down and waited.

Paddy looked a mess. Tears and snot co-mingled on his face. His eyes were as red as traffic lights, flashing out their warning to stay away and yet he was here.

Why?

Paddy sipped at his second helping of hospitality.

"So why are you here Paddy?"

It was only on his third attempt to speak, that Brendan could make out his words.

"My marriage. It didn't work out."

Brendan raised his eyebrows, nonplussed.

"Did it not- why's that then?" He said evenly.

"I'm not queer."

"Never said you was."

"Only it's just my laptop."

"What about it?"

"It betrayed me, but what's wrong with looking huh? Looking, it's nothing.

It's not actually... It's not touching. I'd never do that." He hiccupped.

"That's disgusting."

Brendan winced.

Paddy looked up fleetingly and pulled a face.

"Sorry- I didn't mean."

"S'alright mate, you're in shock. So this laptop...?"

"I love my wife." Paddy interrupted.

"I'm a good husband, was a good husband." He faltered.

"Only my eyes look...elsewhere."

"Who are ye looking at?"

Fresh tears coursed down Paddy's face.

"Men" he whispered.

Tears splashed down into his drink and watered down its contents.

-O-

Brendan had thought as much. He dimly remembered a brief adolescent kiss Paddy had tried to land on him years previously. The wild un-coordinated manner in which it was conducted, betrayed the now-or-never desperation behind it. A would be attempt from a man who'd never kissed what had truly satisfied him before.

"Fill us in mate. What's been happening?" Brendan coaxed.

-O-

So he did.

For the first time in his life, Paddy bared his soul.

He revealed how he had always liked men, ever since he was at school; he had preferred their company, their physicality. He had been a keen sportsman. The changing room had held as much excitement as the pitch.

He had carried this preference over to his gym days, working out his muscles and his imagination four to five times a week. Although in later years, he had had to rein himself in somewhat, as his "covert" staring at his sauna companions had led to a couple of sticky situations.

He knew he was a man to be reckoned with, arrogant, vainglorious, quick-tempered and a huge hit with the ladies.

Fired up after a work-out, he would hit the town and pick up anyone he should've wanted.

Sometimes he could go through two a night, best-friends usually. A blow-job with one and the real deal with the other.

Everyone was happy-apparently.

Once he'd had the good fortune to find a stash of gay porn mags hidden down the back of a broken seat at the station. This had kept him off the streets for quite some time.

No need to prowl.

-O-

He also told of how his lifestyle had started to pall.

There were times he would go through the motions of picking up a woman, only to drop her half-an-hour later when his mates had moved on to another watering–hole, thinking he was set for the night.

Paddy knew he needed a new game plan and he found it in Brianna.

Brave Brianna as she was known in his circle.

(Brendan could guess why).

She had been Pete's girl when he had his life-changing accident that had left him wheel-chair bound.

Brendan shifted uncomfortably at this.

Brianna had been a saint, putting up with Pete's mood swings and tirades, until he had dumped her callously. Had frozen her out.

Everyone had felt protective over her- including Paddy.

He had treated her like a little sister, until the day he'd realised she could protect him.

He had wooed her delicately but quickly.

They were married within three months.

-O-

Paddy did his duty, he explained. He fucked her, missionary style of course, like a good husband should, but he had to admit, he was more enthusiastic when he turned her over. When she was facing away from him.

Almost anonymous.

With hindsight Paddy could now see that he had been naive to think that Brianna could be his total disguise.

He still had urges, inklings that things could be another way.

"Brian" his nickname for her, seemed more revelatory now.

Brendan had laughed quietly as this.

-O-

Paddy had needed a more substantial outlet, so he had created his office, his den and had acquired his laptop.

He quickly discovered he was only ever four clicks away from relief.

He coped better.

Life was better, but not great.

He still needed to be vigilant.

There were times he almost lost control completely. Like the time he had typed almost all of his credit card details onto a gay escort agency's application form.

The fact that complete discretion was guaranteed, had tempted him beyond measure.

Luckily he had wiped this from the screen the day before.

"The day before what?" Brendan asked, unexpectedly captivated by Paddy's secret.

"The day before Bri found me out."

Again the tears fell.

He had been holding up well for the past forty minutes, but now the scab had been picked raw again.

-O-

This time Paddy reached over and poured his own beverage.

"I was out at um a friend's birthday bash and hadn't locked the door of the office.

Stupid of me.

Too eager to get away I guess.

I came home to find her staring at the screen.

I knew immediately what she was looking at.

I could see it reflected in the tears in her eyes."

"Jesus." Brendan exclaimed.

"I felt sick."

"I'll bet."

"To cut a long story short, she accused me of being gay. Me!

Then she threw me out."

Brendan let some time pass before he asked.

"Do you think she was wrong?"

Paddy was incensed.

"I've never in my life touched a man!"

"Yeah but ye want to!"

"That's not the point. I haven't. I won't."

"Are you sure about that? Pads look, cards on the table now-do you want to fuck a guy or don't ye?"

"No! Not just any guy."

"So ye have someone in mind?

Paddy shut his mouth so quickly; Brendan heard his jaws clash together.

"There is someone then?"

Paddy suddenly felt the need to check-out his rucksack on the floor.

"Pads?"

Yet more silence and then.

"His name is Eddie." Paddy whispered.

"It was his birthday do I was at when..."

"I get ya. So what's he like?"

"Fit." Paddy said too quickly.

Brendan chuckled

"Of course, so what else?"

"Young, 22. Dark, slim build, hazel eyes. Lashes from here until next week."

"Watch out for those lashes." Brendan joked.

"Strong too. I mean in himself, he recently told everyone he was gay. Got a lot of stick for it too. Mainly from me.

You always hit the ones you like eh?"

Brendan gave a wry smile.

"I like 'em young, apparently."

Brendan squirmed in his seat.

"Brothers under the skin" he said quietly. Then with more volume.

"My other half's younger."

"Your other half?"

"Yeah."

"You're seeing some guy, like a proper couple?"

"Guilty as charged."

"Really?" Paddy said in astonishment.

"So does everyone know about him?"

Brendan laughed and shook his head.

"Yeah they do. Had to tell otherwise he wouldn't stay. He's big on honesty and openness.

As you know it's not my default setting but I couldn't lose him.

I won't lose him.

I came close once or twice, but good sense was literally knocked into me."

Considering they had never been the closest of friends, home truths were sailing between them at the rate of knots.

-O-

"How about this Eddie?" Brendan enquired.

"Does anyone know about him?"

Paddy snorted.

"He doesn't even know about him" then he laughed at the absurdity of his situation.

"He doesn't know I .."

"Fancy him." Brendan finished.

"Yeah that. So far I've just hounded him."

"Planning on changing course?"

"I don't know. I've got to get Brianna back."

"Seriously? I know you've been blessed by the Blarney stone and you've got the gift of the gab, but are sure you can salvage this?

Do you really want to? Is it fair on her?"

"I thought you of all people would understand." Paddy almost whined.

"I do mate. I do. It's just that I've been through all this and have come out on the other side.

I now see how much it hurts the women.

Their lives are in limbo, while we hide behind their skirts calling ourselves men.

We wrap them around us like invisibility cloaks.

No-one gets any joy. Not us and certainly not them.

Brianna hasn't even got the comfort of kids."

Paddy stood up and squared up to Brendan defiantly.

"I'm a man. I could give Brianna kids if I wanted to."

Brendan ignored him and carried on calmly.

"No doubt. I'm just saying this is a lose-lose situation, especially as she now knows the truth.

The manly thing to do would be to end it.

Be single or be with Eddie, but set her free.

Let her breathe.

While there is still time.

-O-

Paddy wasn't so stubborn that he ignored good sense when he heard it.

His spur-of-the-moment dash to Brendan's, had been a last ditch attempt to manoeuvre around and manipulate Brianna. He had hoped to come back with a fool-proof plan to win her back. To perform some sleight of hand, to distract her from what was becoming more and more obvious. However it looked like all he was going to go back with, was the truth.

"Another drink?" Brendan offered.

" Yeah."

Paddy sat down again.

"So this Ian?"

"Eddie." Paddy quickly interjected.

"When are you going to tell him ye worship the bones of him?"

"Don't know if I can."

"Course you can."

"I just can't stop thinking about him."

"Then ye have to."

"I've been vile to him though. Really, really hard on him."

"Mmmm." Brendan didn't trust himself to speak.

"It's amazing how resilient the young are. You should try at least."

"Maybe." Paddy mused.

"You know when I was here before and I caught you and that guy together in the Jacuzzi?"

"How could I forget, you nicked me feckin' watch."

"I was jealous as hell.

You had the balls to do what I could only wet dream of.

I still look back on that, as being one of the best days of my life. How sad is that?"

Brendan almost felt sorry for him-almost.

"Ye got to take risks mate. If you want to be really happy.

Speak to him.

See what he says.

He might tell ye to take a hike, or he might up and surprise ye.

I've got the two things I never thought I'd ever have.

My man and my family, because I finally took that risk.

Remember Pads, we only walk this way once."

-O-

During this chat, Paddy had just been staring straight ahead with unfocused eyes.

Brendan's final words had snapped him back to reality however and that's when he realised that his line of vision was directed up Brendan's short towel.

Brendan closed his legs.

He then offered Paddy the spare room for the night and went to get dressed.

While upstairs, he heard the front door slam shut and Stephen's voice float up.

"Bren, I've been calling and calling you.

Wassup with your phone?"

-OOO-

**18 Hours Later**

Like a man on a mission Paddy entered his workplace at break-neck speed.

"Where is he?" He shouted.

"Where's who?" Jo-Jo asked.

"Eddie." Paddy bellowed.

"He's not here, he's off today. Not feeling well, so he isn't" came the reply.

"Huh. " Paddy grunted, as he quickly scoured the forecourt, to check whether this was true, before sweeping out of the place and heading towards Eddie's flat, just off the main road by the Chippy.

"What do ye want with him?" Jo-Jo called after him.

"It's between he and me" Paddy yelled.

"Go easy on him Paddy, for Chrissake." Jo-Jo- shouted, trying to make himself heard above the mid-day traffic.

As if Paddy thought, as if.

-O-

Paddy didn't have any difficulty finding Eddie's flat. He had often walked past it when he'd "just happened" to be passing in recent months.

17a St Paul's Square was now indelibly etched on his brain. Much like his own birthday. It was there now, for life.

As he climbed the front stoop, the outer doors flew open.

Eddie was there with wet hair, presumably freshly showered and dressed casually in a bright blue t-shirt with 69 provocatively splashed across the front in orange and grey trackies.

Paddy took a beat to take this all in, before barging in.

Eddie was on his mobile, to Jo-Jo.

Forewarned is forearmed.

"No, no it's fine Jo-Jo. He's here now. I'll deal with it. Whatever _it_ is. Thanks anyway. Bye."

Eddie quickly turned his attention to the clearly agitated Irishman in his hallway.

"Come in why don't ye."

Fearing that this encounter was likely to become loud and possible violent, Eddie scrambled to insert his keys into the lock of his personal front door.

Ushering Paddy in.

He couldn't afford to upset his neighbours, again.

-O-

On a roll, Paddy entered at speed and paced the length of the living room.

He made a note of how many doors led off the room and tried to ascertain whether anyone else was in the flat with them.

"What's this about Paddy?" Eddie nervously asked. Frightened now, having let an angry, built and obviously powerful man into his personal space.

They were alone. He knew this. Paddy did not.

In reply Paddy stood still and just glared at Eddie.

He paused for thought.

On the ferry back to Dublin, Paddy hadn't thought further than reaching him. The rest was up for grabs and he was now going to need to move quickly, if he wasn't to lose his advantage.

"Ok look, I know I put salt instead of sugar in your tea last time, but it was a flipping joke. You've been such a miserable git recently, so you have; but d'you really need to track me down a week later for it. Jeez."

Paddy advanced on hearing this.

Eddie suddenly dropped the bravado.

"I'm sorry, sorry ok. Whatever is pissing you off, I apologise for yeah?"

He held up a hand in front of him, to protect himself, genuinely scared now.

Paddy reached out and interlaced his fingers with the outstretched hand.

He held it. Suspended in mid-air.

He looked at it with marvel in his eyes.

_This was the first time he had touched the object of his desire._

Eddie was completely flummoxed.

Initially he tried to wrest his hand away, but then he looked deeply into Paddy's eyes and slowly realised there was no need.

No need at all.

-O-

Paddy delicately ran his thumb over the back of Eddie's hand.

Eddie looked on.

Taking all his courage and screwing it to the sticking place, Paddy raised Eddie's hand, turned it slightly and kissed his now openly exposed palm.

Once, twice, thrice.

He wanted to make clear that this not a mistake.

He wasn't confused. He was committed.

"I don't understand. " Eddie murmured. "You hate me."

"No, kid" this was said with force. "No." Paddy shook his head vehemently.

Without letting go of Eddie's hand, he took a step closer and stared at his eyes, his lips, his lips again.

Slowly, with obvious trepidation in his own eyes, Paddy raised his other hand and placed it behind Eddie's neck. One more step meant that he was now flush against the front of his body.

A male body.

_Another first._

Eddie felt his immediate response. There could be no doubt about his feelings now.

Paddy nervously licked his own dry lips.

He continued to gaze hungrily at Eddie's, but frustratingly did not make a move.

Eddie finally took matters into his own hands and closed the gap between them.

A question of Paddy's was then answered. Eddie's lips were as soft as they had promised to be.

Laced as they were with the aftermath of toothpaste.

Paddy moved his hand through Eddie's damp hair and pulled him closer.

He needed him to be close. Closer than it was polite to be. Closer than his own skin.

Eddie's fringe was still wet and droplets of water trickled down Paddy's face because of it.

Paddy didn't care, didn't flinch, this was bliss.

-O-

Eddie was the first to pull away.

He leant back and smiled broadly at Paddy. Astonished.

Paddy greedy for more, moved in for another kiss. This was freely given.

Eddie then shook his head, like a shaggy dog and showered them both with droplets of water.

They both laughed.

The tension eased.

"When?" Eddie asked.

"Always." Paddy answered.

Eddie shoved Paddy's right shoulder hard.

"You rode me so hard."

(Paddy's eyes lit up at this).

"I almost quit."

"Sorry about that, but I couldn't let you know. I couldn't let anyone know. I still can't."

"Does your wife know?"

A flash of pain momentarily added fire to Paddy's eyes.

"Sorry I shouldn't have asked. It's not my business."

"It is your business." Paddy stated emphatically.

"She knows in general, just not the specifics. There weren't any, until today."

Eddie's eyes widened in complete surprise. He had never ever been anyone's first.

He was gobsmacked and honoured.

Cupping Paddy's head in his hands, he initiated their first deep kiss.

He tentatively slipped his tongue inside Paddy's mouth and lightly touched his. Once he gained a response, he curled Paddy's tongue inside his own and sucked rhythmically.

The room began to fill with appreciative sounds. It took a moment or two for Paddy to realise they were emanating from him. Normally he was such a quiet lover.

Not today.

Realising that there was definitely a mutual attraction here, Paddy became bold and quickly pulled Eddie's t-shirt out of his trackies and slid his hands underneath and eagerly caressed any skin he could find.

He was met with two pleasant shocks.

One, Eddie had an unexpectantly hairy chest, an anomaly considering his small, tight, boyish frame.

Two, he had a nipple ring.

Paddy was amazed; He broke off the kiss to hurriedly ruck up the t-shirt further to take a more considered look.

He had seen one before of course. Glimpses had been taken, as an occasional specimen had passed him on the streets in summer months. Also one of his favourite actor's in his soul-saving videos sported one too.

To see one up close and personal though was mind-blowing, to lick one, well.

Paddy swooped down to claim his buried treasure.

The noises in the room increased, not least because Eddie could not stop squirming and laughing uproariously.

Paddy stopped abruptly; he lifted his head and directed his gaze to the top of Eddie's forehead.

"Have you..?" (He swallowed) "Got anywhere more comfortable?" His face was bathed in successive waves of red.

"Follow me." Eddie responded.

He led Paddy to his bedroom.

-O-

This was a large Moroccan themed room, with rugs, cushions and a large ornate wooden screen, which took up most of the end of the bed, providing privacy from the dressing rail, which was also present.

Dropping Paddy's hand, Eddie set about lighting four or five tea-lights housed in colourfully hand-painted mint tea glasses. Despite the early hour, the ambiance created was that of dusk.

Throwing the cushions off the bed, Eddie made room for his companion.

Paddy wanted to explore, but he wanted to explore Eddie more.

Climbing onto the king-size bed, he was unsure which position to take up.

Was he "the man" was he not?

Should he take charge, but take charge of what exactly?

Thankfully Eddie beckoned for him to lie on his side facing him.

Neutral.

While he settled, Eddie took the lead. He kissed, stroked and teased Paddy skilfully.

When Eddie's hand entered Paddy's jeans, Paddy actually swooned.

Sometimes too much of a good thing is a bad thing. It can be a short-lived show.

Finally getting to experience all he'd ever yearned for meant that Paddy went from 0-60 in 20 seconds.

Eddie had barely started his ministrations when Paddy swiftly shuddered to his finale, spurting his applause all over Eddie's wrist.

"Damn, oh no, fuck, sorry." Paddy felt even the roots of his hair turn red.

Not since he was fifteen, had he had to apologise for his performance.

"No worries "Eddie countered. "I'm irresistible, it's widely known" he gently joked. He went on to reassure.

"Next time you'll last longer."

Paddy was relieved that there would be a next time. He'd have kicked his partner to the kerb, in days of yore, if they'd been so disappointing. His desire diminished instantly.

He was grateful Eddie was more forgiving on that score.

-OOO-

St Paul's Square's social standing had slipped in recent years.

Rising unemployment and a dwindling economy plaited together with European bail outs, had brought elements one may describe as undesirable into the neighbourhood.

One resident two internal doors down from Eddie, felt this shift keenly.

Ever observant, always watchful Mrs Church felt duty-bound to inform her landlord of the commotion she had witnessed at lunch-time.

If everyone did their bit, she reasoned, then standards could be maintained.

Just because everything felt as though it was in disarray, there was no need to trail helplessly in its wake and so she rang the first number featured on her speed-dial.

-OOO-

Things were heating up nicely back in the master bedroom.

Paddy was doing his best to recover from his earlier humiliation by using his transferable skills. He was after all, no slouch in the bedroom department.

He was in his most comfortable position so far, pressed so close to Eddie that he could feel his groin pulse.

_This was living._

Eddie had tried to dis-robe but Paddy was eager for him to keep his suggestive t-shirt on. Puzzled Eddie looked down at his own chest and laughed at its message.

"Maybe later" he smirked.

Now it was Paddy's turn to descend his reverse stairway to heaven.

He bit Eddie's flat chest, grazing his teeth over his erect nipple and sighed.

_Another novelty._

He bowed his head and travelled south, but then out of the blue.

"FUCKING COCKSUCKER!" Flashed through his brain. Whose voice was that? His? His dad's? His Priest's?

Paddy stopped short, momentarily anxious.

Thrown off course.

Could he do this?

Should he do this?

Was this really him?

Eddie lay ultra still, waiting.

Without a word, he reached out a hand and stroked Paddy's cheek, seemingly aware of his internal struggle.

After what seemed like an age, but was probably less than a minute, Paddy opened his mouth and encompassed his future.

At this point Eddie displayed his own vocal talents.

Heightened tension had had an effect on Eddie too and his conclusion happened much sooner that it would have done on other occasions.

Unaffected, Eddie hoisted Paddy up and planted a huge heartfelt kiss on his lips.

Paddy tried unsuccessfully to bury the back of his head into the pillows, in an attempt to back away from the encounter. (Brianna would never have considered such a thing), but eventually he yielded to the inevitable. If Eddie was willing to taste his cock-scented tongue, who was he to complain?

-O-

Eddie rolled over taking Paddy with him; he then reached over towards the bedside cabinet's top-drawer. He took out a tube and unscrewed the cap.

"What's that?" Paddy jerked away slightly.

"It's lube, lubrication. We're gonna need it."

"Oh." Paddy tried hard not to pull away again as Eddie squirted some into his hand.

"It's cold."

"It warms up. Promise."

"Oh." Paddy blushed and ducked his head.

The apprentice was now the master. How the tables had turned.

"We need a condom too." Eddie informed.

"Why neither of us is going to get pregnant?"

Eddie looked at Paddy in genuine disbelief. Overwhelmed by the situation, it took Paddy a second or two to realise his miscomprehension.

"Sorry. I didn't think" He muttered, trying to mask his gaucheness.

Today was definitely a learning curve.

Unfazed Eddie leaned forward and kissed the tip of his nose.

"It's ok. New-boy" he softly taunted.

-O-

Paddy considered himself a sensitive lover and so he entered Eddie slowly.

This allowed them both time to adapt and accommodate each other.

Unsure whether to break the world land speed record or to cruise at a more moderate pace, he listened out for cues from Eddie. Luckily Eddie was a bit of a boy racer and quickly made his needs known.

Sharing sweat had never felt so good.

Brianna had liked to be lady-like during sex.

Now Paddy could release all his desires and urges through his pores and it felt fucking fantastic.

_It was another new intimacy shared._

As he moved through the gears, Paddy felt his hands slipping.

He wasn't used to this.

Usually he had a curve of a hip to hold on to.

A breast to cushion his thrusts.

New tactics were needed.

There was nothing for it. He would have to hold him closer. To grip him harder.

To delve deeper than he'd ever done so before.

He did this until Eddie was almost bent double, before the winning line was crossed and they were both doused in celebratory champagne.

-O-

As his breathing returned to normal, Paddy's thoughts turned to Brianna. He now fully realised that this scenario had to be dealt with quickly.

"You ok?" Eddie's enquiry pierced his sombre thoughts.

"I'm better than that; I'm alive for the first time in my life."

"I'm glad to hear it. It's a big step whenever you take it." Eddie said with a tender smile.

"Now I've got to clear up this mess I've created."

"With your wife?"

"Yeah" Paddy's eyes clouded over. He turned a sorrowful face towards Eddie.

"I've got to take baby-steps.

I want this." He kissed Eddie with feeling briefly. "I want you, I do; but I don't want rub her nose in it. In us. S'only fair."

Eddie nodded his head in agreement. Deferred gratification, he could understand that.

-O-

Paddy suddenly felt as if a spell had been broken.

He snuggled down and released a peal of laughter into Eddie's armpit, while Eddie stroked the back of his neck lovingly.

He finally knew he was free.

He was aware that plain sailing wasn't guaranteed, but he also knew happiness had never smelt so good.

Not feeling quite the novice now, Paddy pressed play again.

This time he knew where to place his hands for maximum effect.

He was a quick study.

Much kissing then ensued.

Hands traced what were fast becoming familiar tracks around each other's bodies.

Paddy was getting used to the sensation of stubble.

_A new craving was being established._

Eddie couldn't quite believe how his afternoon had panned out.

Then the unmistakeable sound of a key turning in a lock was heard.

It reverberated around the flat like a rumble of thunder, before an almighty storm.

The pair froze, mid-motion.

Eddie in his unexpected euphoria had forgotten one thing, one tiny detail.

His boyfriend.

-OOO-

**Comments are always appreciated.**


	2. Chapter 2

**SOCIAL NICETIES**

**A/N WARNING: This chapter contains physical violence.**

Can you say drama?

Pandemonium was better organised than the scene which then unfolded.

When Paddy replayed the events in his head later on, he was reminded of one of those "Where's Willy?" pictures. The type where, the more you looked, the more you saw.

-O-

"Honey bear, are you in here? Are you okay? Mrs Church said there had been a commotion with a big burly guy in the hallway at lunchtime - did you see him?"

Honey bear remained stationary and silent, face aghast. He turned to face Paddy, mortification, fear and regret fighting for pole position behind his lashes. Being with Paddy had been like a re-birth for him. He had instantly forgotten that he had had a life before his touch. A life that was now reasserting itself in the most horrendous way possible.

"Did you see him hun? Do you know what the fuss was about? Could you recognise him again if you had to?"

With each question, the voice got louder edging it's way nearer and nearer to the Master bedroom.

Eddie remained frozen.

Paddy started thaw quickly; shock and anger duelling to see what would course through his veins the quickest. Anger won.

"You've got a boyfriend? He gasped. Rage tingeing every word.

Eddie at least had the good grace to blush, being naked Paddy could see how wholeheartedly this reaction/reflex spread. If you were artistically minded you would have noticed how pleasing this hue was against the soft buttermilk sheets, which were seductively entangled between their legs. This was another observation that Paddy only noted after the fact.

"Baby-boy where are you?" The disembodied voice called out.

Before any boy could answer him Davy McAdams was in the doorway, taking up most of the frame. His former career as a semi-pro boxer evident for all to see.

Everything at that moment seemed to hold its breath. The walls held their breath. The furniture rearranged itself (it seemed) to gain a better view.

They say silence is golden, but they forgot to say it's deafening too.

Paddy tried to focus. He was trying desperately to hear above the sound of his own blood rushing towards his inner ear, at a beat that most clubs would ban because it would induce fits.

"Well well, who's been sleeping in my bed? Baby-bear won't you introduce me to your friend?

It was at this point Paddy's body re-discovered movement. He leapt from the bed and tried to make a run for it. Paddy may have been gym-honed and in good shape (very good shape) for a man of his age, but he was no match for an ex-professional boxer. Encumbered as he was by the sheets wrapped around his ankles, Paddy ran straight into Davy's still formidable right hook. The resulting crunch was worthy of a Bafta for special sound effects.

"Gerroff him. Don't you touch him!" Eddie screamed as he hurled himself at his partner. Good sense finally kicking in. Unfortunately being young and slight he was easily brushed aside as Davy took a second swing at Paddy, followed by another. Felled for a third time Paddy ended up in a heap on the floor alongside Eddie. Both now sported cuts to their eyes. A look passed between them. Even in these dire circumstances, it was hard to severe the bond that had quickly developed.

It was decided. In a split second, with the briefest of nods from Eddie and a quick furrow of the brow from Paddy, that they would work as a team to defeat their foe.

Eddie zoned in immediately on Davy's feet, stamping on them and kicking them for all he was worth.

Paddy delivered a hefty jab to his solar plexus, keeping his fingers straight in order to maximise any pain.

Davy crumpled but he didn't fall, as far as he was concerned, this fight was still in its early stages. It was just that he had two opponents now instead of one. Grabbing both men around their necks, he flung them aside, before concentrating on Paddy, again. With a roar he pinned his arms back and proceeded to pummel his ribs. Paddy was sure he felt something give way. He began to list to one side because of it.

"Touch my boy would ya? Davy hollered. "How would you like it if I broke into your house and touched what was yours?" Each sentence was punctuated by a blow to chest and the face.

Paddy visibly weakened.

Eddie hadn't been idle. He had craftily gathered up the 100 thread count Egyptian cotton sheet and now he was ready to take aim. In a flash he threw the sheet over Davy's head. The seconds of confusion that this provoked was enough for Paddy to right himself and make it through the open door. Unfortunately for him, Davy had the reflexes of an Olympian and had managed to disentangle himself and start to give chase, before Paddy was able to grab any of his clothes.

"Run Paddy just run, he's not ver…" Eddie's speech was cut short as Davy gripped his throat to prevent further instruction.

Paddy paused, Eddie was in pain, he was literally being lifted off his feet by the hold on his neck.

Every face in the room was red.

"Go." Eddie eventually gasped, before Davy delivered a headbutt to his temple and dropped him to the floor.

As Davy set his sights on Paddy, Paddy turned and took flight. He managed to quickly scoop up his shoes as he ran through the flat. Luckily Davy had failed to lock any doors behind him and Paddy's path was unhindered until he hit the hallway. There he literally bumped into a middle-aged woman, Mrs Church he presumed, with a camera phone. With the enthusiasm of a lost tourist, Mrs Church used her photography club skills to take several pictures of Paddy-naked.

Eddie had used the last of his energy to slip past Davy and follow Paddy into the corridor. He too was naked, although he had managed to pick up his t-shirt along the way. As he handed this to Paddy just inside the front door, he stopped and stared at him, so many words went unsaid. He reached up and touched Paddy's face, neither could find their voice.

Mrs Church moved towards them to gain a better vantage point as she continued to focus the camera on them. She had apparently switched to video, for a more seamless collection of photographs.

There was no time for any lingering goodbyes or apologies, Davy McAdams was advancing upon them, throwing Paddy's clothes and belongings up the passageway with athletic precision.

"Fuck off out of here" he yelled " and you, get here. " He made a grab for Eddie who quickly jumped out of the way, making an already irate Scottish man apoplectic with rage.

Eddie unlocked the door and pushed Paddy outside. Paddy heard Eddie groan as a hard part of Davy collided with a soft part of him. He watched in horror, as he saw the outline of Eddie slide down the door and disappear out of sight. He tried to reopen the door to gain entry to the house again, but Davy could be heard dragging Eddie away from the door, back down the hallway, swearing as he went.

Knowing that this battle was lost, Paddy sprinted down the street, holding Eddie's t-shirt and his shoes in front of him to hide his embarrassment.

Paddy was just about to learn that this particular day, was the day that just kept giving.

-OOO-

Sprinting away from any more possible trauma, Paddy was greeted by wolf whistles, car horns and cyclist bells as everyone seemed to be bemused and amused at his naked state.

Unbeknownst to Paddy, the Channel 6 news team were in the middle of conducting a live interview with the proprietors of the first retail establishments, to relocate to this area in five years. The look of shock on the shop owners faces as he ran by was priceless. Sandie Maguire, a quick witted reporter, a bright young thing, quickly told her cameraman to follow Paddy's journey. Within seconds Paddy was the lead feature on the 6pm local news. Trying to minimise the sensationalism of the situation. Paddy awkwardly pulled on Eddie's t-shirt. Unfortunately that didn't help matters, as Eddie was several sizes smaller than Paddy and having a crop-top wearing adult man, sporting 69 across his chest in lurid colours while the rest of him was bare, wasn't really helping his visual case.

It has to be said that the rating figures for that evening were the highest the network had achieved in two years, (Sandie Maguire was promoted).

-OOO-

It was with a huge sigh of relief that Paddy, finally ran up the road of the place where he was currently staying. Even though he didn't have his keys to hand, Bob his workmate was a country boy at heart and he always kept a spare under the back doormat.

Letting himself into the flat, Paddy raced to the spare room which was his temporary home to pull on some appropriate clothing. As he buckled his belt, the landline in the lounge rang. What Paddy heard once he had answered it, made him wish that he had run past an off-licence on the way home.

"Hi Jo-Jo, you alright?"

"Am I alright, what the fuck d'ye think you've been playing at Paddy" You're on the frigging news. Naked!"

"I can explain Jo, it's a bit complicated but I've had a hell of an afternoon."

"Start talking mate. I thought you were going to call round at Eddie's? What happened? You change ye mind?"

"No, no I went but… well … y'see … he.."

"Wait a minute, was that his t-shirt you were wearing? I'm sure I told him it wasn't appropriate for work when he wore it last week. How did you come to be wearing his clothes and not any of yours?"

" Jo-Jo, I'm really tired, can I bell you tomorrow?"

"NO! SHUT THE FUCK UP…"

"Errm mate? Jo-Jo? What's wrong?"

"Are you bumming him?"

"No!"

"You are aren't ye?"

"No, it's not like that."

"What's not like that? How long have you been doing him? Is that why he's off today - too shagged out?"

"Jo-Jo please just listen. My head's all over the place. I don't know what I'm doing."

"Does Brianna know?"

"Please mate, stop." Paddy begged, getting more frantic by the minute, completely unprepared for this conversation.

"Shit is that why you broke up? You were shagging guys not girls?"

"No that is not why we split, we just did." Paddy said affronted.

"Just like that?"

"Yes."

"No guys involved at all, no how, no way?"

Silence.

Paddy then exhaled a deep sigh "No."

"Liar, I can always tell when you lie, your lips move and if I call Eddie, will he say all you did was play cards this afternoon? Strip Poker maybe?"

Defeated, Paddy slumped down onto the sofa and scanned the room for any signs of intoxicating liquor.

"Jo-Jo please I'm begging you, I've had a pig of a day. Can you just let it drop fe now?"

"Alright, it's your funeral. Have it your way. I'll see ye at work tomorrow yeah?"

"Course, no probs"

"One last thing Pads."

"What?" Paddy responded wearily.

"Did ye enjoy it?" Paddy could hear the grin in his boss' voice.

"Yeah" he whispered softly in reply, before replacing the receiver.

-OOO-

Realising that it would take more than a good night's sleep to recover from today, Paddy had nipped out to the off-licence to pick up a bottle of his favourite whiskey - Bushmills.

As he turned the key in the lock, he heard the unmistakeable ring of his phone-again.

This time Paddy approached the device with trepidation. The caller ID claimed the number was withheld. Should he risk it? What if it was Eddie?

After some deliberation Paddy answered to be greeted by Ben's deep booming voice. Ben was another work-colleague of Paddy's, standing at 6ft 6" in his cotton socks, he had easily attracted the nickname Big Ben; not original I grant you, but descriptive all the same.

"Hiya Ben what's up?"

Ben took his time before speaking for the first time.

"Hey Pads, have you been online at all today?"

"No mate, I've had a bit of a mad one, why has Jordon fallen over one of her floatation devices or summit?"

Paddy heard Ben chuckle nervously, before answering.

"You really need to log on to Face2Face a.s.a.p."

"Nah, I can't be bothered to update my profile to tell the world that I've just had my tea lol."

"You should that's all I'm saying. Look at YouView too while you're at it. I'm just telling you this as a friend. Gotta go, the missus is calling me. See ya."

With that, he was gone.

Paddy wasn't one for social networking. He knew it was a big part of many people's lives but he just didn't live his life with his phone in his hand, as some chose to. He didn't feel the need to communicate every 15 minutes, with 600 of his closest friends. He did concede that sometimes it was the fastest way to contact people as nearly everyone he knew logged on at least once a day.

Following instructions Paddy logged on to Face2Face. He had reluctantly added Eddie as one of his FaceFriends as it would have looked suspicious, if he had continued to be the only work-colleague not to befriend him.

Immediately he knew something was wrong.

Picture after picture of him naked appeared. Naked alongside another equally naked man. He recognised the photos straight away. They were the snaps taken for Mrs Church portfolio, this very afternoon. He and Eddie had been tagged viciously in every single one of them. The images were unambiguous. Their stances, their glances towards each other screamed, _we are lovers_. Not just that, each shot declared that _we are lovers who have loved each other recently. _

Paddy cradled his head in his hands. The comments were appearing on his profile thick and fast. Most registering shock, whilst frantically asking for some feedback in the very near future. As he had dreaded, some comments were homophobic in nature, these were from so-called friends too. Paddy wanted to voluntarily lose consciousness but he was finding out that his constitution was made of sterner stuff.

-O-

Topping up his glass, Paddy navigated his way to YouView with a heavy heart.

Not knowing where to start, Paddy suspected that merely typing in his or Eddie's name would yield results.

Sure enough, his name led him towards the video footage, which accompanied the montage of photos on Face2Face. Now that the photos were connected together, the bond between the two men seemed palpable.

Paddy actually stroked Eddie's face as it appeared forlornly on the screen. He suddenly felt as though he was St Sebastian, being pierced by many arrows in the name of love. Would he die? He hoped not.

Paddy braced himself before reading the immediate feedback which was forming on the page, below the video footage. It's good to know that hate is spelt the same worldwide, he dryly mused. There were points of view that made Paddy wince and made his soul want to hibernate; but much to his surprise there were many that said, _so what? Live and let live, _and even a few that said, _awww sweet._

Feeling the need to complete the hat-trick, Paddy signed on to Chatter, to gauge the reaction of those who liked to let their fingers do the talking. Now that he was over the initial shock, Paddy was amazed at how witty and/or cruel people could be in one hundred and forty characters or less.

There was one particular theme which disturbed him however. There was a common consensus that Brianna would orbit the earth once she caught wind of this furore. Paddy knew this was more than accurate. He knew this was a situation of his making and he knew he had to pour a soothing balm on this wound before the day had ended. With this in mind he logged off and finished his drink in one gulp.

Paddy stood up and paced the room. He knew this was not the time to take up procrastination, but gut-wrenching fear prevented him from doing anything useful. As he paced the room some more the phone rang again. Paddy instinctively checked the caller ID.

It said BRIANNA.

-OOO-

**Comments are always appreciated.**


	3. Chapter 3

**ANOTHER DAY AT THE OFFICE**

**A/N Warning: This chapter contains explicit swearing & more violence.**

**A/N 2 A Molly-house is a male brothel.**

Paddy watched as the name repeatedly flashed on the small screen. It felt like a pulse, regular and demanding. Not to be ignored. Paddy had rarely called upon his faith, but he called upon it now.

He said a little prayer and answered the phone.

"C**T!"

"I can explain…"

"FUCKING BASTARD."

"Brian please listen.. It's not what it looks like. Those pictures, they're distorted."

"Don't you ever call me Brian again; I'm not one of your dirty tricks, one of your shag bags."

"My what? No listen it's not like that. Bri, things got out of hand. This isn't what this is."

"You lied to me. You swore that you'd never touched a man, that I was wrong, delusional. You said it was only in your head, that you needed time to think. THIS IS NOT THINKING."

"I didn't lie. I hadn't touched. I swear on my …"

"Hush your mouth God's listening." Brianna enforced her own rules. "Please don't degrade us both by saying this was your first."

"He is, was, is." What was left of Paddy's soul began to disintegrate. Any defences he may have once owned were slipping away, down the quay into the shore.

Brianna continued to rant.

"I was stupid enough to believe you, when all this time you've been shagging all over town shamelessly, dipping your wick into goodness knows what. What if you'd brought something back to me?

You Aidswhore!"

"Brianna that's enough! I get that you're angry I do but hear me …" Once again Paddy was cut off by his livid wife.

"Angry? Try fucking humiliated. Do you know what you've put me through, the day I've had? "

Paddy snorted so hard it hurt his throat. "It's not been a walk in the park for me either."

"So I saw, more of a naked jog wasn't it? It made Sandie Maguire smile on City at 6. One woman likes you at least."

Paddy smiled exhaustedly with down-turned lips. He leant against the wall for much needed support.

He inhaled deeply.

"Bri Bri I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. This should never have happened. Not like this. I never wanted to hurt you, you mean too much to me. I love you."

This was the stone that broke the dam. Brianna broke down and wept. A keening escaped from her lips that cut through Paddy's eardrums like a knife. As a mark of atonement Paddy held the receiver in place.

Seconds turned to minutes before Brianna rediscovered her voice.

"Do you know what really kills me?" She spoke in a near whisper. Paddy had the good sense not to answer.

"When I saw those photos of you and ..him on Face2Face, I realised that you have never looked at me like that. Not even on our wedding day." Tears fell against the receiver.

Paddy now cried too. The soon to be parted couple shared one last joint venture.

"I just wasn't enough." Brianna's voice shook now, all her emotions spent.

"That's not true. I meant what I said." Paddy now was desperate to make it up to Brianna at all costs.

"Don't please, just don't." Brianna gave one last shuddered sniff and then with a click - she was gone.

-O-

Paddy replaced the receiver; he had never known twenty-four hours to last so long. He slid down the wall he was leaning on and relished the little spike of pain that shot up his spine as he made contact with carpet.

_If I was to just sit here forever, then maybe the world would spin past me and forget about me he reasoned. _He was only half joking. He reached up and angled his hand until it grasped his new best friend.

There was a reason whiskey was invented.

Disregarding all available glassware, Paddy drank straight from the heart of the bottle to his.

His phone rang - _again._

Paddy visibly shook this time. Coward was not a name Paddy would've freely given himself, but right now he would've painted it across his forehead in yellow.

Stretching forwards Paddy craned his neck to see who was trying to add to his woes.

Brendan.

Paddy picked up his bottle, drained it, stood with some difficulty, crossed the room, switched off the light, and went to bed.

-OOO-

After a Manic Monday Paddy was hoping for a Tranquil Tuesday, but some one had forgotten to tell the universe that. Even before he had opened his eyes, his ears had informed him that that god-awful racket he could hear was his good friend Bob, whistling. Some people are blessed with musicality and others are Bob. Paddy let out a groan and then promptly stopped; the act had caused every bone in his head to scream for mercy. Attempting to open his eyes had just revealed the fact that his eyeballs had been re-fashioned out of sandpaper. Agonising as this was, Paddy knew he wasn't in a position to take a duvet day. Too many people would be speculating whose duvet he would be under. Using the last vestiges of his remaining strength, Paddy padded to the bathroom, performed his toilette and made his way to the kitchen.

Much to his surprise Bob had already left. On the edge of the kitchen table was a steaming mug of builder's tea holding down a message written on a pink post-it note. _See you later, we'll talk _was all it said.

It was enough.

Paddy knew this chat could go one of two ways, but the pendulum of his life was only swinging in one direction at the moment. It was at this point Paddy regretted finishing all his whiskey the night before; he could do with upgrading his mug of tea from _PG _to _18_ right about now.

-O-

The journey into work seemed a much longer affair than usual. This was due to the fact that Paddy was more skittish than a very skittish thing. He was on edge, reading meaning and condemnation into every passing glance and social interaction. Paddy felt the weight of moral outrage and social disgust on his shoulders. A proud man, yet he spent most of the journey silently begging for forgiveness and appealing for understanding from those who looked in his direction for than a split second.

It was with relief that he took in the sight of his workplace. Relief which was quickly covered by apprehension. Some of the YouView comments flooded back into his mind. These had been written by friends, colleagues even. He knew his day was only just beginning.

"Here she is." Martin bellowed across the forecourt as soon as Paddy came in to view.

"Didn't expect to see you bright-eyed and bushy-tailed this morning. I almost didn't recognise you with your clothes on."

Paddy had expected no less.

"At least I'm worth looking at with no clothes on."

The place erupted with laughter. Paddy slung his jacket on his usual hook.

"You should take up running ye fat fuck; give the girls their money's worth."

"Like you give the boys?" Martin shot back, stung by Paddy's apparent resilience.

"Man not boy and only the one." Without fear was how Paddy had decided to face the day. Why cower when the evidence was out there for everyone to see?

"Where is he? The wee man. Where's Eddie?" This had been the one thought that had prevented sleep. Where was Eddie? Was he alright" Was he safe?

"Aww didn't he give you his number after? It looked like he was whispering sweet nothings in your lug-hole as he fluttered his eyelashes at you in those photos."

"Glad ye looked at them in such detail Marty. Ye must've been interested or aroused." Another peal of laughter caused Martin to step forwards and pick up a wrench.

Instinctively Paddy squared up to him as Ben and Bob stepped in-between them forming a wall of muscle.

"That's enough boys I mean it." Jo-Jo's voice caused everyone to jump and turn towards him.

"If you can't accept Paddy's change of circumstance, then you need to pick up your tools and go home."

He looked Paddy in the eye and cocked his head.

"In my office, now."

As Paddy followed his boss, he saw that Martin was still being restrained by his work-mates.

He shook his head; _this _was going to take a while.

Once inside his sanctum Jo-Jo dropped his veneer of professionalism.

"Hells bells Pads, what the fuck is going on? I've had every wife ringing me asking if they're all at it, am I running a Molly-house?"

"Jeez Jo this was not meant to happen I swear to you." Paddy had collapsed into the nearest chair, exhausted already by the day's events. Even though he was at work, Paddy's eyes still scanned the place searching for a bottle, searching for relief.

"Okay okay, let's sort the basics. Is it true, you and him?" Jo-Jo scrutinised Paddy's face hoping to catch the truth should it appear across his features.

Paddy hung his head to gather his strength.

"Yeah," he mumbled "but it's not how it looks. It was once, yesterday, once that's all."

"I thought you didn't like the fucker." Paddy winced at the insult. "Thought you didn't want the gay-boy near ye." Jo-Jo still looked confused.

"Liked him too much Jo. Couldn't have him near me." As much as this admission tore into Paddy's soul and left spikes behind, he knew he had to be honest, at least to his employer.

"Brianna, she knows?"

"She didn't before. She does now."

In fact Paddy had been shocked at how angry Brianna had been. She had always been such a placid girl in the past. He now wryly accepted that neither of them had ever really known the other.

Jo-Jo stared at him intensely, trying to put the pieces of this sexual jig-saw puzzle together.

Paddy was having trouble maintaining eye-contact in such a small space.

"Well you certainly, what is it they say? _ Came out _with a bang." Paddy couldn't help but smile at this.

"You know me Jo-Jo, always the shrinking violet." Paddy then stilled and looked concerned for a long moment.

"Are we good Jo? You and me? This ain't gonna be an issue no? Cause I can go if this takes you over your quota of queers." Once again, he was only half joking.

His boss knew how much it had taken for Paddy to make that statement. They had worked together for twelve years and were more like reckless cousins than legally-bound colleagues. He wouldn't have this business, these premises, if Paddy hadn't had a hand in persuading the former tenants that their fortunes lay elsewhere.

"Don't be daft. This is your home. Now get your arse out there and make me some money, honey."

Both men laughed at this.

Paddy got up to leave.

"Just one other thing Jo. Have you seen him today? Eddie I mean." For the first time that morning Paddy flushed and looked ill at ease.

Jo-Jo mirrored the look. Casting his eyes to the left he murmured. "He won't be in today. He's got family problems."

Paddy grasped the meaning behind his words, but still couldn't stop himself.

"Can I have his number? I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important." Not since he was nine years old and eager for a Raleigh Racer with 6-gears had Paddy pleaded so much with his eyes.

Jo-Jo relented.

"Here, this did not come from me, got that?" Paddy swiftly pocketed the piece of paper handed to him.

"Gotta love ya J-man."

"Don't you dare kiss me." Jo-Jo joked before answering his ringing phone

Paddy backed away, mouthing his thanks as he went.

"Who did you say you were? Brendan Brady? I'll see if he's around." Jo-Jo covered the receiver and cast Paddy a quizzical eye. Paddy vigorously shook his head, as he opened and closed the door behind him, as quietly as possible.

"Sorry mate looks like you've just missed him. He went out on a job five minutes ago. Yeah I'll pass the message on. Cheers."

Jo-Jo looked at his recently shut door and frowned. This tale had another chapter he was sure of it.

-OOO-

The rest of Paddy's working day settled down in to an awkward but bearable rhythm.

A period of work would be followed by a period of abuse, which was followed by a standoff followed by a tea-break. By six o'clock Paddy and his referees were shattered. Martin on the other hand who seemed to be running on bile, fury and shocked bitterness, looked good for another two to three rounds at least.

The tea-breaks had served a useful purpose. During each one Paddy had rung Eddie's number. Initially Paddy had tried to remain cool, had tried to ring only once during each break, but radio silence had put paid to any posing on his part. Now without any shame he rang incessantly. His fingertips had memorised Eddie's number and now worked independently of his brain.

Still no reply.

Knowing that this was not the plan to win Mastermind, Paddy decided to revisit Eddie, if not the man himself, then at least the house. Just a glimpse, a mere glimpse was all he needed to rest troubled soul.

To soothe his mind and reassure his psyche.

It was this pre-occupation with his new phone and his plan that distracted Paddy, as he took a short-cut across a barren wasteland. His head was down even though his spirits were up. He didn't see it coming.

The first indication he had that he was in terrible danger was the blow to the back of his neck. Some-one or something had struck him in the centre of his muscular core, causing him to reflexively fling his head back, leaving the way open for the blow to his windpipe.

"You dirty little shitter, this is how you treat our sister." The deepest baritone boomed out near to his face. Paddy knew who his assailants were now.

Brianna's brothers.

All five of them.

Before he could raise a fist or kick out, they had floored him and were tenderising his face and chest with their fists and boots.

"Fucking queer."

"Nasty poof."

"Did you fuck them and then fuck her- you git?"

"You diseased maggot of a man."

"Arsehole."

It was impossible to get away. Impossible to fight back. Paddy felt something break, it was his thumb.

He heard a whimpering sound and realised with shame it was coming from his split lips.

As a co-ordinated finale, he received kicks to both his face and his groin simultaneously.

Pain jack-knifed through his body and met in the middle. Paddy briefly wondered if he had made a will.

Just a quickly as it had started, it finished.

The laughter and insults that had surrounded him began to fade away.

Paddy was alone.

He couldn't accurately gauge how long he had lain there. He wasn't even sure he had been conscious for all of the time, but now he was aware of some-one near him.

Some-one was touching his face. His swollen shut eyes prevented him from seeing who it was.

Someone was patting down his chest, checking for damage.

Some-one was pressing lightly on his hips, groin and legs.

Some-one was calling for an Ambulance, giving details of where to find him. Paddy tried to stay alert. Tried to pay attention.

He felt sure he knew that voice.

Recognised it.

It couldn't be, could it?

-OOO-

**Comments are always appreciated**


	4. Chapter 4

**Same S***Different Day.**

**Thank you so much for your reviews and pms on the last chapter. Just to let you know that your responses influenced this chapter. Hope you enjoy x.**

Paddy felt hemmed in, uncomfortably secure. If he had been much smaller, you could have said that he had been swaddled. The taut sheets holding him were practically cutting off his circulation. The hospital corners were being too efficient. He needed to breathe. He needed air. He moved his head to the right, only to be met with such searing pain that he almost didn't move his head back again, in case it was repeated.

"So it does live."

Paddy had company. He knew that deep sardonic burr, Brendan Brady.

Paddy attempted to open his still swollen eyes. It hurt like hell, and he wouldn't have persisted but he had a guest and it would be rude not to try.

He managed it. He could just make out the glare from a flaming red shirt. It hurt his newly opened eyes.

"Can't leave you alone for five feckin' minutes." Brendan complained, but he had worry in his eyes.

"I've missed you too." Paddy eventually rasped. His throat was creaky unused to use.

"You too pretty for the world, that why they jump you?"

Paddy tried not to smile too widely as his lips were still sore, dry and cracked. He needed water.

"I had it under control, but thanks for your help back there." Each word felt as though he was swallowing gravel. "Could I get some…?"

"Water? Where?"

"Table. There."

"Yea. Here."

As Brendan handed the half-full plastic tumbler to Paddy and watched him drink, he stopped short and asked.

"What help?"

Paddy actually raised his head off his hot puffed-up pillows to stare at Brendan, mouth agape as it was more comfortable that way. Some water spilled out onto the sheet.

"Yesterday, you you called the ambulance when I was, I was on the ground." Paddy faltered over his words now that uncertainty was creeping in.

"Yesterday? No mate, you've got it wrong. You've been in here for over a week, so they say.

After ye and Ian is it?"

"Eddie" Paddy corrected quickly.

"…..were splashed across every screen Stephen came across, (your guy, he's cute by the way), Stephen just wouldn't shut up about it. I tried phoning, you know, to rip ye a new one; but there was radio silence."

Paddy frowned, trying to comprehend. _He'd been here a week?_

"…which was fine until the rumours started."

Paddy hated to ask. "Rumours?"

Brendan turned his chair to face Paddy fully, trying to gauge what his reaction might be, to what he was about to reveal.

"That you were six feet under, that you were encased in concrete off the pier, that you'd skipped town with a limb missing- the usual."

"Nothing too serious then" Paddy tried to joke.

Brendan continued.

"Missing his favourite soap, Stephen shoved me out the door to find out if there was an omnibus.

I'm on a one day whistle-stop tour. In at 6. Out by 6.

I won't lie to ye Pads, it's a relief to find that you being in hospital is the only punch line."

While Paddy tried to take in his latest news, Brendan reached across and began to eat from his bowl of fruit, starting with the grapes.

"So how did you know?"

"Docs said you were set upon."

"It was Bri's brothers."

"Surprising that."

"I didn't see it coming."

"Well Huey, Duey, Luey, Stupid and Phooey were never gonna let this lie."

Even though this was hard to hear, Paddy knew this was the truth. The painful truth. He already had the loose teeth to prove it.

He slowly closed his eyes which were beginning to smart from the effort of being held open. He was starting to get a headache.

"I'll be glad to get out of here." He eventually said.

"Do ye know when that'll be?" Brendan asked, moving on to the bananas now.

"No clue, I'll speak to the men in white coats today."

"Well…" Brendan tilted back on his chair, so that he would be at the right angle to perfect his aim. He lobbed his banana skin with skill into the mouth of the hospital bin.

"take better care a yourself Pads." He dropped his voice and took a swift look through the clinical curtains. "Being the other way doesn't have to be this hard ye know. Don't worry about the other stuff either. People today have the attention spans of gnats. I was splashed all over the newspapers, and I'm still standing. Today's news is tomorrow's chip paper, remember that.

Paddy raised a weak smile and nodded his head in agreement.

Brendan stood and stretched out his long lean frame.

"Well I'm off, people to do, places to see; you know how it is." He motioned to go, but then placed a hand on Paddy's left shoulder and gave it a firm squeeze. It took all of Paddy's willpower not to wince.

"Oh and I'm taking these." In his hands Brendan had a nectarine and a pear.

Paddy's stomach muscles shook with amusement.

"Course" he said to Brendan's retreating back.

-OOO-

Five days had rolled past and Paddy was bored beyond belief. After Brendan's unexpected visit he had discharged himself. Against hospital orders. He had argued that if he was going to be coddled and comatose he could do that at home. This was true, but oh my goodness he hadn't realised that boredom came in different packages and he had ordered the economy size. It didn't help that everything that used to run smoothly now creaked, grated or refused to move at all. He hobbled around his _home_, as both his knees refused to co-operate fully. Vision was something he was getting used to having at peak-times only; and his hands didn't work, not least his broken thumb. On the plus side he had discovered a passion for talking books. He had begged Bob to buy him something to pass the time and rather than cigarettes (bad for you apparently) he had returned with Harry Potter and The Philosopher's Stone on disc. He was currently _reading_ H.P and The Goblet of Fire, which he had to ration just to make it through the day.

At the moment Paddy was sitting on a kitchen chair exasperated. He had attempted to make himself a cup of coffee, but had only succeeded in spraying Mellow Birds all over the floor as his good fingers had forgotten which way to successfully turn the cap on a full jar of granules. It was just as well that he hadn't put the kettle on yet.

Bob came in - from work.

He looked at the floor and then looked at Paddy.

"Jackson Pollock's got nothing on you." He stated. "At least he uses colour."

"So sorry Bob, I'll clean it up."

"Don't worry yourself; I'm down here now anyway. Just shift yer boots, ye big lug."

To give Bob space Paddy shuffled into the lounge and threw himself in the general direction of the sofa.

_I can't go on like this._ He thought. _I need my life back._

Something needed to be done. He knew what that something was.

-OOO-

Two days later Paddy returned to work. The gears were moving more cleanly now and Paddy reasoned that as long as Jo-Jo didn't ask him to lift a People Carrier single-handedly, he would be alright.

Even though nothing clicked when he moved anymore, Paddy could tell his fitness levels were down as he found it a challenge to walk up the incline to his work-place now. A slope that he had never noticed before.

Time to hit the gym again, he decided.

As soon as Paddy entered the garage, he scanned the place for signs of Eddie. Maddenly he found none.

Ben raised his head to offer a greeting. Bob bobbed his. To the others he was invisible.

Strange.

"Hey the wanderer returns " Jo-Jo's voice boomed out across the working environment.

"Needed to, just to make sure you weren't running this place into the ground" Paddy shot back.

Both men laughed.

Jo-Jo cocked his head to one side and gestured towards his door.

"Come into my office for a bit"

Paddy blithely followed him in.

Jo-Jo took a seat behind his desk. Paddy positioned himself above the one opposite and allowed himself to drop onto the padded cushion below.

"So how you been Patrick?"

Paddy noted the use of his full name.

"I'd like to say good but that would be pushing it. I'm ok - on the mend."

"Good good. You got everything you need at home? Jo-Jo still hadn't made direct eye-contact.

"Yeah and my Mum is fine and so are the dogs. What is this JJ?

Paddy's boss looked up and exhaled heavily. He leant forwards. Earnest.

"Pads you know you're like a brother to me."

"It's not true, I'm adopted." Paddy tried to joke.

"It's just that I've got to make changes…"

Paddy sat up straight in shock.

"What ! You have got to be kidding me." Realisation dawned.

"I've got to let you go." Jo-Jo stated. It actually physically hurt him to say the words. He genuinely cared for Paddy but…

"Got to? You haven't got to. Where the fuck is this coming from?"

Jo-Jo almost wished his mouth would refuse to work.

"O Hanlon's Haulage. Brianna's brothers' haulage firm. You know maintaining their 30 trucks provides us with a third of our work here. I can't afford to lose that amount of business Pads. You know I can't. Not in these times."

Paddy was enraged.

"You wouldn't have this business if it weren't for me." He shouted.

"I know, but I can't afford to lose it because of you either. You must see that surely?" Jo-Jo pleaded.

"Shitting hell." Paddy slumped forwards in his chair too.

"They've already paid me a little visit. Given me a deadline. You know in any other circumstances I'd fight for you, but I've got other men and their families relying on me Pads. I can't let everyone go to the wall because you changed your mind about who you want in your bed at night."

Paddy's head was now practically resting on the table in front of him. He knew it would come back to this. It would always come back to this.

"So much for this being my home," still doubled over he spoke directly into the French polish.

"We all have to leave home at some point." Jo-Jo tried to placate him. Paddy shot him a venomous look.

"Here take this" Jo-Jo handed over a thick brown envelope.

"I don't want ye sodding blood money." Paddy had lost most things, but he still had his pride.

"Don't be a soft lad, take it. Who knows how long it will be before.." He stopped abruptly.

"Before some-one's dumb enough to hire me again?" Paddy pushed away from the desk and headed for the door.

"Thanks for that vote of confidence Jo. Have a nice life." He held his head high as he walked through the entrance. If he had had the strength, he would have slammed the door behind him as he left.

-OOO-

Like a homing pigeon Paddy found his way home without sight. He even made a detour to the off-licence, and purchased his favourite tipple without registering that he had done so. As he stepped foot inside his _home_ he tried to look on the bright side. _Well this just leaves more time for me and Harry, Ron and Hermione _he thought. Funnily enough this thought only cheered him for ten minutes.

Since his departure earlier that morning the post had arrived. It was strewn in an untidy heap, just below the ball of his right toe. He bent down to pick it up. There was a letter there for him. He recognised the handwriting immediately. He was going to need a drink for this.

Moving into the lounge, Paddy flung the rest of the post on the coffee table for Bob, broke the seal of his beverage and slowly tore open the whole left side of his message.

_Hey, _(she wrote).

_Things can't stay the way they are. It's a living hell for me and I don't really care how they are for you._

_I've got to end this. I've spoken to our Priest (he'd already heard about you and your filthy ways by the way) and he said I can have an annulment on the grounds of fraud. It will be like we never were. The way it should have been._

_We have to both agree and meet with him to finalise the details. Please do this one thing for me (pretend I'm a boy). The Priest will be in touch._

_Be available._

_B._

It was only to be expected and yet this still cut Paddy to the quick. An annulment; this was like saying Paddy had never existed; he was being wiped clean from her history. Deleted from her memory. Forget spam mail or junk mail, Brianna was willing to say that she had never even known this male. This was harsh.

As the fourth glug of spirits passed Paddy's lips, he found it funny that in this day and age of electronic interfacing Brianna had chosen to communicate with him via an old-fashioned letter. Something that he could physically hold, cry over tear-up or keep if he wanted to. For some reason he admired her for this.

-OOO-

Paddy was three-sheets-to-the-wind by the time Bob made it home after work. Even in this state however, Paddy could still tell that Bob was trying to be jovial and un-realistically up-beat in his company.

_Good news travels fast._

Bob seemed to be laden down with enough Indian takeaway to feed Mumbai.

"Let's eat "he said as he busied himself finding enough plates and containers for all the dishes present.

"We need to talk."

-OOO-

**Comments are always appreciated.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A Friend In Need**

_**PART I**_

Aloo Gobi had never seemed so unappealing.

As Paddy helped Bob arrange the various delicacies on numerous pieces of crockery, he suddenly felt a loss of appetite. As delectable aromas assaulted his nostrils and promised his taste buds a good time, Paddy's stomach clenched into a thousands knots. Foregoing nourishment which would undoubtedly be good for him, he held onto his new best friend and drank from his neck repeatedly. Swaying ever so slightly Paddy just about managed to place his bottom on one of the oversized bean bags, which decorated Bob's lounge floor. He clumsily crossed his legs and took a seat beside the overburdened coffee table, opposite his host.

"Tuck in my friend, it's food not an ornament" Bob encouraged with a hint of nervousness in his voice.

Paddy reached for an onion bhajee and placed it on his plate, where it remained uneaten. He took another sip of his amber nectar, as he watched Bob pile his plate high with food from the sub-continent and eat it with gusto; having second and third helpings before seemingly pausing for breath.

"That's a good Indian, so it is" Bob declared as he licked the ghee from his stained fingers. This point hadn't been lost on Paddy.

"You not hungry?"

"Big lunch." Paddy lied. He re-visited his liquid meal and gargled loudly with his next serving.

"Care to share?" Bob hesitantly held out his brandy balloon towards Paddy, hoping for a shot or two of whiskey. Paddy reluctantly obliged his friend. He had after all provided the evening meal, even if Paddy hadn't really participated in it.

With deliberate and slow concentration, Bob warmed the whiskey in the balloon, before drawing it into his mouth with all the sophistication and knowledge of a connoisseur.

"Firewater. Food of the Gods." He proclaimed, momentarily transported to a place of bliss.

Despite his unease, Paddy observed the whole ceremony with interest and a touch of awe. If ever Paddy had the good fortune to win the lottery, he would love to learn more about fine wines, whiskeys and spirits. As it was, all he currently knew was that he liked them all - a lot.

"So "Bob finally found his voice and cleared his throat, "how d'you get into this mess Patrick?"

For the second time that day Paddy was aware he was being addressed formally.

"To be fair, it wasn't planned. It was never meant to leave my head Bob. It just happened. Exploded out of my hands and onto the screen. There was nothing I could do about it."

This was the first time Paddy had had the opportunity to reflect upon the sitcom his life had become. It may have been a ratings winner to those watching with warped interest, but to Paddy, it felt as though he was clinging to a wrecking ball, which was decimating his entire world.

"So it was in your head then… these thoughts an' you know …wants?" Bob shifted uncomfortably on his bean bag, unused to talking directly about any form of desire, whilst still sober.

Paddy eyed his friend warily; he was unsure whether to speak truthfully or to bluster his way through this chat with false bravado and true liquor. Sensing that he had nothing to lose, he chose the former.

"I'm not proud of it" he spoke in a gruff near whisper, his larynx now coated with several layers of liquid fortitude. "I kept it to myself for years. I never gave myself away once." Paddy thought about that last statement. "Well only once, years ago." He pulled a face at the memory of his desperate lunge at Brendan Brady's lips.

_Thank God he had more sense than me and pulled away. I wasn't ready._

"I was doing well too, married, settled, on an even keel. Life was good."

"So what happened?"

"Eddie happened." Paddy dropped his head as he vividly remembered the day Eddie had stepped foot onto the forecourt of his former workplace. It was a Monday. It had been raining. Eddie's slight frame had barely disturbed the doorway. His hair was slick against his head and rain-drops took refuge on his long lashes. His t-shirt appeared to be a second skin against his chest. Paddy had noted that especially. He had seemed calm but confident, as though he would speak up for himself, at some stage, just not yet.

Paddy was captivated. Not that you could tell.

"He turned up and turned my head." Paddy shrugged his shoulders and took another slug of his scorching soul mate.

"Could hav' fooled me. I thought you hated him. You were always shouting at him, keeping him late 'cos he needed extra training. He wasn't up to scratch you said."

Paddy shook his head slowly from side to side while a sheepish smile played upon his lips. Remembering all his tactics to spend time with Eddie; to be within touching distance when they worked, to be able to inhale his scent whenever he wished. It would appear that no-one had seen through his ruse. This offered little comfort now.

"I had to play my cards close to my chest. I was never going to reveal my hand, why would I?"

"So what changed? Why d'you do it Pads?" Bob squinted trying to understand why anyone would want to throw their happy marriage away.

"I got careless. I got sloppy. I got found out. I got desperate and then I got bold." With each point Paddy hit the coffee table with his open palm. Half angry, half frustrated. It was still hard to him to see that recent events may be the start of a fulfilling future for him. If some-one on high had a grand plan for him, Paddy had yet to be informed.

"I went on a last-ditch field-trip to my mate's in England, after Bri found out. I thought I could come up with a plan to make her forget and take me back. I was still trying to hide; but he told me to man-up and do the right thing by her, by him too. Not what I expected to hear I can tell ya.

I came back and the rest as they say is history."

Paddy stared down into his drink, seeking solace and strength from the resin-like substance.

Bob gazed directly at him, still trying to fathom how a man could hang himself out to dry so publicly.

"I'm sorry" he began.

"Don't be. It's not your fault Bob. It was bound to happen eventually. I know that now."

"No I'm sorry, I really am." Bob now gulped down some award-winning firewater to give himself some Dutch courage. "I thought if I heard the words come out of your mouth, if I heard your reasoning for all this, I'd be able to handle it, but…."

"You can't?"

"No. I just don't get it. How could you want a man over a woman's curves and warmth? Why would you want to disgrace yourself like that? So openly too. It doesn't make sense."

Paddy tried to keep the growing frustration out of his increasingly slurred speech.

"Like I said my TV debut wasn't my idea."

Bob's bass cut in, finally airing all the niggles and irritations he had held onto from the previous fortnight.

He spoke up louder than before.

"Why would you go against God's law? You do know you're going straight to hell now, no questions asked?"

"Great, it's a do not pass go, do not collect two hundred euros, situation is it?" Paddy scoffed, not caring now how he came across.

Paddy's blood was beginning to boil. He could see twenty years of _friendship_ sliding down the plughole. The firm foundations that he'd thought his close companionships were built on, were now crumbling and turning to dust. By the end of the day, Paddy had a feeling he would be standing alone.

"I'm not the one who makes the rules. God does."

"You follow them all do you? Every one? How's the no sex before marriage rule working out for ye?" Paddy angrily spat out, his blood at boiling point now. He needed more drink.

"Like I said, I've tried to wrap my head around it Pads, but I just can't do it." Bob hung his head and spoke to his congealed remains on his long forgotten plate. "I'm gonna have to ask you to move out Patrick."

There is was – the punch below the line.

"No rush though, take a week or two. Get yourself sorted first."

If you had missed the previous comment, this offer would seem to be a generous one; but Paddy hadn't missed a thing.

Not a slight.

Not a sentiment.

"Why wait? If you can't stand being near me, then I won't make you suffer any longer."

Paddy shuffled to his knees and precariously made it to his uncooperative feet. He lurched towards the door, listing to one side like an over eager toddler. He was off.

"Don't be like that Pads, come back. You're in no fit state to go out now." All these admonishments fell on deaf ears. Pissed off to the enth degree, Paddy stepped into the waiting arms of the night.

-OOO-

It had been a while since Paddy had been on a night out. As the years had landed and settled upon his broad shoulders, he had reserved his evening escapades for special occasions. He hadn't hit the tiles since Eddie's birthday. The night that Brianna had discovered his terrible secret. This thought stopped him in his tracks. It was a sobering memory. Sweetness and bitterness in the same mouthful; much like a shot of tequila.

Fortified by his second wind, Paddy was determined to enjoy the remnants of his tattered night. He made his way towards his old stomping ground.

_Better the devil you know._

As he approached the door of the Nag's Head, Paddy realised that he had rocked up on one of their speciality nights. The place was rammed and raucous.

He elbowed his way towards the bar, as cheers, whoops and hollas filled the air. Paddy knew what the attraction was before he turned around.

A stripper.

A busty brunette was teasing the mostly male clientele, with her intelligence and mathematical aptitude.

Paddy had to smile. This brought back not unpleasant memories.

Cradling a shot in each hand, he smooshed his way to a better vantage point. Entertainment was entertainment after all. Not being the ugliest man in the room, Paddy soon caught the eye of the twirling dervish. She shimmied and sashayed her way to his side and swished and snapped her hips suggestively in his direction. The inference was clear, money please. Paddy downed both drinks and reached into his back pocket for his wallet. He took out a donation and folded it twice before tucking it into the only string he could find, g or otherwise. Paddy was rewarded with a little bump and grind and a cheeky wink.

As his sponsored showgirl skipped away from him, a familiar face came into view.

Martin.

Paddy's reflexes weren't at their sharpest, so his flinch arrived by satellite delay.

"Oh no."

If Martin was offended by Paddy's reaction, he didn't show it. In fact he looked thrilled to see him.

"Hombre, what up?" Alcohol had also been a major part of his evening too.

"Knew you couldn't resist the lure of the ladies for long. Lemmie buy you drink." Martin insisted.

Paddy started to move away from his ex-colleague. To place some distance between him and this latest misunderstanding.

"No you're alright. I was just leaving" he murmured, searching for a clean break.

"Don't be like that. You wouldn't leave a man to drink alone would ya?"

_Yes._

Paddy relented; he'd had so many, what would be the harm in having one more tipple? He stopped moving and rolled his eyes in acquisition.

"That's my boy, whatta you having?"

Paddy's back was thumped heartily in gratitude. His heart thumped against his ribs.

-O-

Several doubles later Martin had revealed himself to be a tolerable listener. Caught up in his own personal whirlpool of misery, Paddy had released the vexations of the day.

_Better out than in._

He wasn't sure Martin had caught every word, given that his confessional had been a bar stool in Stripper Central; but he felt he had managed to convey the gist of his woes.

He didn't feel any obvious relief yet either; but he supposed that you couldn't put an exact time-frame on these things.

"What ya going to do?" His new found buddy enquired.

"Find a B & B, slit my wrists, overdose and pray I come back as Brad Pitt."

A dark and not entirely fanciful reply.

"Or you could stop at mine, until you're back on your feet."

Paddy almost sobered up in shock.

"What ?! No. No. No. Bad idea. No offence."

"None taken; but it beats yours hands down."

"It would be too much of an impo…, imposi.. I couldn't put you out like that."

"Don't be daft I offered."

Time slowed down as Paddy tried to wake up any part of his brain that contained sense. He shook his head vigorously, but that only reactivated the cells that wanted to drink more. If his better judgement had been sober it would have been against this idea.

"Okay, you're on; but only for a few nights."

"Wise move my man."

It was time to make a move; the night was no longer young or even middle-aged. Both men made their way through the still heaving throng, towards the exit.

Martin leading the way.

_**End of Part I**_

-OOO-

**Comments are always appreciated**


	6. Chapter 6

**A Friend In Need**

_**Part II**_

Noonbreak:

Paddy woke up with a splitting headache, he felt as though a herd of elephants had trampled across his skull and carried on to roam free across his body.

He felt stiff.

He felt sore.

He felt damp.

Sweat lay in a thin sheen across his heavy alcohol-addled limbs.

He was not a pretty sight.

He didn't smell too good either.

Bones cracked as he raised his creaking body to a sitting position. He surveyed his surroundings. He was in Martin's cramped living room. Sprawled along his far from new sofa, which had a pattern that was challenging to Paddy's freshly opened eyes. A lumpy duvet covered his lower half.

Except his toes. Which were cold.

Paddy could vaguely remember making a deal with the devil and agreeing to stay over at Martin's, while the raindrops dried up from his latest cloudburst. He really had to learn not to mix whiskey with decision-making. He swung his legs over the edge the sofa and prepared them for motion.

A wave of nausea hit him.

He felt uncomfortable, ill at ease. Unnerved, for no apparent reason.

Trying not to buckle under the strain, Paddy reached his full height without help. He'd temporarily forgotten that his head was meant to be this distance from the ground.

He was in dire need of a shower, but he hadn't any toiletries or clean clothes. This had to be rectified.

After cleaning his teeth with his finger and turning his fragrant t-shirt inside-out, Paddy made plans to return to Bob's to collect his stuff. Should be easily done, he thought, he'll still be at work.

The trek back to Bob's was harder than Paddy had anticipated, due to the fact he was approaching it from an unfamiliar route. Two near-death experiences later found him turning his key and entering his old homestead. The Postie had once again beaten him to the punch and a new avalanche of letters awaited him.

Eagle-eyed as ever, Paddy spotted a logo that he knew required his immediate attention. The vestry and church spire of St Mark's was unmistakable. Moving the rest of the missives to one side, Paddy perched on a near bottom stair to find out his fate. Father Phillip had kept things short and sweet. An appointment had made for three-thirty on the 12th, to discuss the options that were available for his marriage. _Tomorrow, thank goodness Paddy thought; at least I've got a day to prepare or hide._

Sloping up the remaining stairs, Paddy made it to his ex-bedroom and began filling up his battered holdall with essentials and the like. As he squashed his Wash "n" Go 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner into his bag, his eyes slid past his day/date travel alarm clock. It registered the 12th.

_No it can't be._

_I've lost a day! Where?!_

On Martin's couch came the realisation.

It was two-forty; he had less than an hour. Paddy raced for the door.

-OOO-

Much like his peers, Paddy had been brought up to be a good Catholic boy. As the years rolled by, the good part had slipped somewhat, but the essence remained the same; Paddy was Catholic to the core. This meant that however far he strayed from the path of righteousness; he would always respect the teachings and the authority that had shaped his formative years.

As he lurched towards Brianna's parish church, Paddy was embarrassed that he was not more dutifully dressed. He hurriedly ran his hand through his dishevelled hair and tried to brush the worst of the stains from his jeans.

He made his appointment with two minutes to spare.

-O-

Brianna was already present.

As if to make her point without saying a word, she was dressed in an immaculate white suit. The pencil skirt fell respectfully below her knees but hugged her hips severely. The close cropped jacket curved around her cleavage, which was only just on display. Her waist length raven-black hair shone as it cascaded past her shoulders and found a home in the curve of her back. The message was clear. She was a vision. She was all woman.

Paddy nodded his greeting to her as he entered the draughty building. Brianna turned her head.

"Father "Paddy extended his hand towards the Priest.

"Patrick" the gesture was returned. "Come right in; take a seat; would anyone care for a cup of tea?"

"Don't trouble yourself Father, not for us." Brianna sounded broken and brittle. She had managed to find a seat so far away from her husband, that she was practically in the corridor.

"It's no bother; I'll be back soon enough."

As a Priest-shaped hole appeared in the small room, Paddy initially concentrated on his breathing, while Brianna fixated on her nails. Try as he might, Paddy could not catch his wife's eye to gauge her level of rage today.

Both were startled and relieved when they heard the clink of bone-china, as Father Phillip re-entered the room.

Refreshments were served. Paddy couldn't help but notice that while Brianna and clergyman received dainty floral cups which housed a biscuit in the saucer, he was handed a mug; with a slight chip in the rim. He would have to fend for himself on the biscuit front.

The Priest opened the proceedings.

"Thank you both for taking the time to attend today. It's always a pleasure to meet my parishioners, although I wish it was under better circumstances."

Paddy squirmed in his seat.

"Patrick, your wife Brianna has briefly informed me of the reason why she would like to seek an annulment of your young marriage. Could you elaborate on why this might be necessary?" His tone was smooth, but Paddy saw a tiny glint of disapproval in his eye.

However before he could speak out, Brianna broke the news.

"He lied to me. Lied, lied, lied from day one. He's a queer and he hid it from me."

Shamefaced Paddy tried to state his case.

"I didn't lie - exactly. I didn't know, well not fully."

Brianna turned to face Paddy for the first time.

"You're lying now. You just can't help yourself." Her raw pain was evident.

"I'm not. I didn't think it would go anywhere. I didn't think it would be an issue." In a small voice he added. "I thought I'd take it to the grave, I swear to you Bri."

Brianna was not in the mood to be compassionate.

Father Phillip intervened.

"So you admit that you harboured unnatural tendencies before you made a proposal of marriage to your wife?

Paddy looked flustered, pained. His same-sex life had barely begun and yet like a cathartic bush-fire it was razing to the ground, everything that had stood before.

"I had some thoughts and feelings, yes; but nothing real, nothing tangible. Nothing that would affect us."

Brianna snorted while the Priest looked perplexed.

Aiming for the middle ground he continued.

"Would you say that was still the case?"

Paddy paused while he tried to grasp at the gossamer-thin hope he still held, of saving his marriage. He knew it was an unrealistic desire, knew his marriage was doomed; but he just wanted to spare Brianna anymore pain.

"No not now, things have moved on." He finally conceded.

Everyone around the table acknowledged the sound of the death knell of Brianna's marriage.

Soft sobs could be heard.

-O-

"Thank you for that admission Patrick, it will make things a lot easier in terms how we can now proceed."

Paddy had a sneaking suspicion he may have played his Joker too soon.

Father Phillip placed some legal looking papers on the table; he referred to his notes before he spoke again. Paddy took this opportunity to reach forward for a biscuit. Brianna moved away, wrinkling her nose.

"In order for the church to make a "declaration of nullity", it has to be established that your marriage was invalid. Sexual Fraud or the mis-representation of your true sexual proclivities, would confirm the fact that _"there was never the intent to be faithful_, which would therefore make your marriage invalid."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I can get rid of you; once and for all and never have to tell my grandchildren about you." Brianna crowed, she could already see the light at the end of her tunnel.

"It would mean" Father Phillip corrected in a measured tone, "that in the eyes of the Catholic Church, your marriage never existed. You were never married and if you so wished, you could marry for the _first time_ within the church, at a later date"

It was a lot to take in. Paddy felt as though he had just sat through "the science bit" of an infomercial and would be tested on it later. The message that had managed to seep through however, was that Brianna would have her freedom.

Blameless, without a stain on her character.

Like a small boy who had somehow captured an exotic butterfly, Paddy had it in his power to open his palm and set her free.

He had to do this.

"How soon can we start?" Paddy rather than Brianna asked this.

"It is prudent to have a period of reflection, but I see no reason why eight weeks wouldn't suffice; especially as you have been separated for some time."

"Thank you Father." Both husband and wife chorused this.

"I will be in touch, to arrange our next meeting; until then I suggest keeping the lines of communication open."

Good advice.

It was said but it wasn't heard.

Brianna was the first to leave. With a swish of her mane, she almost curtseyed to her Priest as she gave her goodbyes and promised her attendance on Sunday.

Paddy needed to answer the call of nature and asked permission to visit the little saints' room.

On his way back he passed the cluttered kitchen and through the open doorway saw Father Phillip doing the washing up. Paddy smiled, it was unusual to see such an authority figure performing chores.

His final greeting was on the tip of his tongue, when he observed his Priest placing his mug in the pedal bin.

Paddy's smile slipped. He no longer felt to need to offer pleasantries. He left quietly.

-OOO-

The events of the past couple of days were beginning to take their toll on Paddy. He longed for an early night. Making his way back to Martin's he decided to forego his normal routine, bypass the off-licence and close out the day whiskey-free. His liver was already offering a round of applause. It took a supreme act of will to follow through on his good intentions.

As his head hit his make-shift pillow Paddy fell into the deepest sleep that his body could muster. Every cell drew him towards the replenishing goodness that restful slumber should bring; but like all good things, this came to an end.

Paddy began to feel unsettled, agitated and anxious. He dreamt that he was being pulled in a direction that he didn't want to go. He tried to escape but he couldn't. He began to sweat. He felt sticky and damp. An unfamiliar cloying scent was clinging to the back of his throat.

The sensation made him want to spit.

Paddy felt pain. Genuine pain. It forced him to actually open his eyes. At first he couldn't quite make out what the shapes meant. His night vision wasn't what it ought to be.

Then the fog cleared.

Martin, his new born-again friend was kneeling by his side. He was holding Paddy's penis in his mouth.

Anger followed speed.

"Are you crazy?! Get the fuck away from me!"

Paddy kicked out as he scrambled away from Martin. Martin seemed unperturbed. He advanced on Paddy, trying to grab hold of his arms this time.

"What's your problem? I thought you liked a bit of man-on-man action? What you shy now?"

Paddy wriggled free.

"You're sick you know that?"

"I'm sick. That's rich coming from you. I thought you went with anything nowadays. Man. Woman. Tree. Tractor."

Paddy's heart sunk.

Once again it came back to this. Always this.

His spirits rallied regardless.

"So do you it seems. Tell me when you look in the mirror Marty, do you see me?"

Mad-dog Martin launched himself at Paddy. Aiming for a headlock, but missing his mark.

"I'm no homo."

"Oh no?"

"Take that back."

"What are we twelve? Fuck off you little shit. Get outta my way. I'm leaving before I knock you into the middle of next week."

Paddy bent down (facing away from Martin) and picked up his un-packed bag.

"Don't go now. It's late. It's raining out."

Paddy mused that for the second time that week, a man had begged him to stay.

The wrong man.

Stopping only to pull on his jacket, Paddy abandoned Martin and made tracks into the night - again.

-OOO-

The drizzle didn't bother him. Paddy felt as though finally he could wash his burdens away.

He strode towards his destination at a cracking pace. His agility was improving day by day.

Upon arrival, the late hour threw up its final obstacle. The gates of the park were locked.

Not to be outsmarted by metal, Paddy climbed over the barrier with relative ease.

He made his way to his favourite corner.

His bench was still there.

Wrapping his leather layer about him, Paddy waited for oblivion to claim him - again.

-OOO-

Daybreak:

Something was moving his shoulder. Shifting it gently.

More alert to danger now, Paddy's eyes sprang open. He instinctively recoiled from the man standing in front of him.

"You?!"

He could now put a face to that voice.

His saviour's voice.

-OOO-

**Comments are always appreciated**


	7. Chapter 7

**ALLIGIANCES**

"We must stop meeting like this" came the oh so familiar voice. "These wide open spaces really don't suit you."

"You?!" Paddy spluttered again, completely flummoxed and confused. His fight or flight mechanism had kicked in instantly. His left hand was flailing desperately for his holdall; he needed to get away - now. He clamoured stiffly to his feet. The night drizzle and the morning dew made it an awkward manoeuvre; his bones weren't fully awake yet.

As Paddy rose, his visitor sank down silently onto the seat.

Paddy willed his brain to wake up and come up with a plan. He was literally on his toes, but they refused to move in any direction. Finally his mouth took charge.

"What the feck d'you want? Round 2?"

"Fazers on stun I come in peace." came the reply.

"Like fuck! I know I've been hit in the head a coupla times, but I'm not stupid."

"Really Pads I'm on my own. I was out for my morning run when I spotted you. Complete co-incidence I swear."

"Bet you called them, before you reached me though. Wanna break the rest of my bones? How about my thumb again, it's only just healed."

"I know you probably won't believe me, but I truly am sorry about last time."

"You're right I don't. Fuck off Liam, before I remember how to retaliate."

Paddy was an imposing guy, even in his current broken state; he had the power to scare the Bo jangles out of the average contender.

Only Little Liam wasn't your average Joe.

Liam O'Hanlon was his soon to be ex-brother-in-law.

The youngest of the pack. Paddy had always viewed Liam as a teenager, still wet behind the ears, a follower; even though he was in his mid-twenties; yet he now had to acknowledge that this man had effectively saved his life.

Paddy collapsed back onto the park furniture as full realisation dawned.

Realisation but not comprehension.

Why would he do this?

Paddy gave his saviour a long hard look.

"I don't get ya."

"Most don't" Liam said.

"I don't get this." Paddy gestured with his hands. "Are yous sure you're alone?"

"Totally."

"It was you wasn't it?"

"Me what?"

"Who rang for the ambulance?"

"Well I couldn't just leave you lying there; you were making the place look untidy."

"You put me there."

"I know, but to be fair we had good reason. You'd just publicly cheated on our sister. We had to act."

Paddy nodded his head. Even though he had been the recipient of a savage almost uncontrolled beating, he knew that if the tables had been turned, he would have dished out the same punishment.

"Do they know….that you did this?"

"Not yet, they just think you've got nine lives."

"Does Bri have any idea you helped me?"

Liam looked at the darkening sky and thought for a while. His brow wrinkled slightly as he tried to think of an appropriate response. Loyalty tugged at the edges of his thought-processes.

"How about I buy you breakfast? It looks like it's gonna be another soft day and I'm only dressed for the gym. Whaddya say?"

Paddy hesitated, it was true he was missing a meal or two; but was it wise to accept manna from this particular heaven? In the end his stomach made the decision for him, by letting out the loudest rumble not measured on the Richter scale.

"Sure, but I wanta see your hands at all times."

"Sounds cautious but fair."

-OOO-

Paddy and Liam joined the early morning breakfast rush-hour. There was a long standing tradition that dictated that every working man had to set himself up for the day with a plateful of meat, meat, more meat and grease or else why call yourself a man? If it was true to say there was a pub on every corner, then next to it was a greasy spoon. Each one offering their own specialities to keep their customers coming back for more. Any and all were welcome, although those who made one too many mutterings about their 5-a-day were soon shown the error their ways via the fire exit.

Substantial sustenance had failed to pass Paddy's lips for nigh on three days; as he shuffled into Liam's favourite kitchen-from-kitchen, he was almost faint with hunger. He swayed with the need to bite down on something hard.

It was quite a squeeze, once inside the café at the end of the lane. Paddy and Liam were wedged up against the tide of morning munchers, all hungry for the opportunity to fill their boots. The aroma of the damp heat wafting from the bodies pressed up against them, was causing Paddy's head to spin. It hit him he wasn't this close to family.

Being a regular Liam caught the eye of the young, striking but clearly harassed waitress, who nodded towards the back of the establishment where the more private seating area lived.

Liam led the way, Paddy followed, this way food lay.

Liam walked towards what initially looked like an alcove, almost completely hidden from view by the overhanging wet coats. Pushing these to one side, Liam took up residence beside an impressive oak table which seemed to have taken root there. The stools which were carved into the base of its frame were shiny and worn smooth; giving testament to the many visitors who have placed themselves there before.

Being the treatee, Paddy was given free reign over the menu. It was tempting to just order the complete left side, but Paddy had to use some restraint and make actual choices. Liam merely mentioned he would have his usual.

As the plates were placed in front of them, Paddy heard a whistle blow in his head. The race was on –

man vs food. There could only be one winner. Baring in mind that he was public, Paddy held back from actually licking his trencher clean, although it hurt him to do so.

Liam watched his efforts with obvious amusement.

Paddy sipped his tea and relished the way in which it warmly coursed throughout his chest. He sniffed.

"So what's really going on Lee?"

"On?" Liam feigned ignorance.

"I just can't get my head around the fact that you would go out of ye way to help me. Me? – Seems strange."

"I'm not going to say we were wrong….but we went too far. You could have died."

"I know, I was there."

"I said and did things I shouldn't have."

"Ye think?"

"I regret calling you a diseased maggot of a man, haunts me."

"Well if it makes you feel any better, I was too pre-occupied at the time to really take offence."

Liam gave a wry smile. Absolution due to greater pain, it wasn't ideal but it would have to do.

"So….I'm still waiting for an explanation."

"Press-ganging people isn't my style."

"Yet you do it so well." Paddy let this comment hang in the air before he tried a different tack. "You know your brothers would kill you too if they saw you with me."

"No they wouldn't "came the swift reply - too swift. It was followed by a nervous head-jerk towards the door. Liam instinctively checked out his escape route, just in case.

Paddy let out a low chuckle. He'd hit the nail on the head and he knew that Liam knew it.

"So you're just the Good Samaritan when they're not around huh? What else do you do that they don't know about?" Paddy continued to chuckle, until he glanced up and saw the tail end of a look of horror passing across Liam's face.

"What? What is it?" He enquired.

"Nothing."

"Liar."

"Pot. Kettle. Black."

"I know. I know, but I never meant to humiliate Bri. _This _whatever this is, was meant to stay behind the closed curtains of my mind; and when it couldn't, it was out there on the News at 6 before I could catch my breath.

I never ever wanted to hurt Brian, Brianna sorry."

"But you did Blanche, you did."

"Don't remind me; but I'm trying to do the right thing now. I've agreed to an annulment of our marriage."

"I heard."

"You did?"

"Well it's all a bit Marvin Gaye around these parts."

"Huh?"

"I heard it through the grapevine."

"Oh." Paddy got the distinct impression that he was missing something, but he wasn't quite sure what.

Liam broke the sudden silence.

"Another brew?"

"Yeah why not."

With practiced ease Liam quickly gained the attention of the amazingly efficient waitress. She moved in close and smiled at him. They seemed friendly. Close. As she made a note of their running tab, she raised her eyebrows at Liam and pointedly looked at Paddy out of the corner of her eye. A flash of the eyes and a lightening quirk of the eyebrows was Liam's only response.

A light bulb came on.

Paddy waited until their server had moved away then spoke.

"Oh my giddy-aunt! You too?"

Liam paused, in fact he did more than that, he froze. He felt his heartbeat speed up and his blinking rate slow down.

Paddy was staring at him intently - open-mouthed. Complete comprehension animated his features.

"Um."

The older Irishman was impatient now. "No, no ums, you are aren't you?"

The novelty cruet set suddenly held Liam's attention. Seconds did good impressions of minutes.

Still no reply.

Paddy coughed to re-gain his attention.

"Well if we're going to get all technical about it…" Liam began.

"We are."

"Then I'd have to say …. I understand your point of view."

Liam finally raised his eyes while Paddy exhaled a huge tuneless whistle.

"Right under my nose and I didn't see it."

"Right back atcha big fella. I had to check for birthmarks to accept that that was you online."

Paddy then squinted at his companion as more of the puzzle fell into place.

"But you set about me too, with them….why? You're the same as me - that's twisted." Amazement and disbelief coloured his voice equally.

Liam hung his head again in shame. "I couldn't not, there was too much at stake. I only touched you once, if that helps."

"Cheers." Paddy replied sourly. "I'll be sure to put that on my head stone. _It was only a light tap."_

Silence draped the table like a cloth. Soon the smiling waitress returned with two steaming mugs. She placed them carefully on the solid table before bumping Liam with her hip as she departed.

Paddy recovered his composure first. He leant forward eager to know more, now that the initial shock had worn off. He started the inquisition.

"So who knows? She does of course, me, anyone else?"

Liam took a cautious sip of his tea, winced at the temperature of the liquid, before he divulged any more information that would incriminate himself.

"It's a cliché but I really do lead a double life. My gay friends know, my man knows obviously but my family and others don't."

"How long have you lived like this?"

"Five years."

"FIVE….Jeeez that's some secret."

"I know, sometimes I just have to get away, _we _just have to get away …to escape the pressure, to feel anonymous and normal."

Paddy was reminded of the many occasions Brianna had commented that Liam was away "camping" again.

It all made sense now. Liam continued.

"Lately it's been really getting to me, this lying by omission. I made a pact with my new flatmate, an old friend; we decided earlier this year to both come out once and for all. Only he did, I didn't. I chickened out."

"How was it for him?"

Liam almost smiled.

"Ok on the whole. Some accepted it straight away; others gave him a rough time."

Paddy nodded thoughtfully. This seemed understandable.

"So are yous gonna try again? For real this time?"

Liam pulled a face that any teenager would have been proud of.

"My heart says no, but my head says have to."

Paddy grunted.

"I've got to tell my brothers though and Brianna, I see that now."

"Only now?"

"I've been a coward I know, but things have got to change; will change, I'll make sure of it."

Paddy viewed Liam with a sceptical eye as he finished his beverage. The seconds sped up again.

"Look Pads, I've still got to go to the gym to finish off my workout. I'm gonna make a move."

"Fine you go."

"Where are you off to now?"

Paddy replied honestly. "Nowhere."

Liam hovered beside the table, tip in hand.

"Stay at mine."

"No." Paddy's answer arrived faster than Fed-Ex. Recent experience had taught him _to_ look a gift-horse in the mouth.

"Pads I'm serious. Stay at mine, I've got a flatmate but he's cool."

"No can do."

"Have you got any better ideas?"

"Ha that argument doesn't work on me any more."

"So you'll just loiter then?"

"I'll take my chances."

"In the Park?

"Yea why not? My bench and I understand each other."

Liam looked towards the window. The weather situation hadn't improved since their arrival. Light drizzle had turned to light floods.

"It's still tipping it down." He observed. "Look I'll make a deal with you, why don't you bunk down with me until your bench dries out?"

Amused, Paddy had to admire Liam's neat side-step.

"Ok you're on."

Liam released a genuine grin.

"Here take my keys. The spare room is on the ground floor, first door past the living room. Shower's on the first floor. Make yourself at home. Take whatever you need."

Paddy looked down at his shoes. He briefly felt overwhelmed.

"Thanks Lee, appreciate it."

"It's the least I can do - you're family after all."

Both men smiled awkwardly at this ironic statement, before Liam left, leaving Paddy to ponder on the wisdom of his most recent life choice.

-OOO-

Paddy found that his memory was still in good working order. He found his way to Liam's place with ease, having only visited once before when the entire family had helped him move in, years previously.

He was pleasantly surprised with what greeted him after he had turned the lock. A brilliant white and silver colour scheme bounced off his retinas. Everything was pristine and ordered. A place for everything and everything in its place.

Top of Paddy's wish list was to take a shower. A hot one. A very hot one.

Wearing at least three days smells, he was surprised that people hadn't given him a wide berth already.

Practically racing to the first floor, Paddy grabbed two bath towels from the airing cupboard on the landing and entered the bathroom.

Correction - the oasis.

Paddy had only ever been in love once in his life, but he was in love now.

The bathroom was devoid of a bath; in truth it was really one enormous wet room. With a power shower built for two. It was a good job Paddy was alone because he let out an enthusiastic girlie scream.

The countdown to heaven started here.

Dropping his holdall and then his clothes right next to it, Paddy was naked and under the showerhead in less than seven seconds.

Turning the gauge and reaching for the Aloe Vera scented cleanser, Paddy lost himself in a waterfall of bliss. Layer upon layer upon layer of dirt and grime swirled towards the drain. With each layer gone Paddy felt more uplifted. More human. More saved. It was as if each drop of water was bestowing redemption on his battered body. Hope was washing over him in bubble form.

The ritual of rinse and repeat was repeated several times.

When Paddy finally left the shower, his whole body squeaked.

Next Paddy paid just as much attention to his teeth. In less than three minutes, they too were fit for the front page of any dental brochure in the land.

Drying his hair shaggy dog style and swathing his hips in the largest bath towel, Paddy made his way to his room.

As he dismounted the stairs Paddy heard rustling in the apartment. The flatmate must've returned. Paddy picked up the pace; he needed to reach _his room_ fast. He wasn't dressed to receive visitors.

Almost sprinting now, Paddy almost made it to his destination; but then disaster struck.

The door of the living room swung open, just as Paddy was crossing the threshold. Whoever was leaving, was carrying a tray with the remnants of brunch on it. A boozy brunch. A brunch that had contained red wine. Paddy and Liam's friend clashed violently, causing the tray and its contents to fly into the air and gracefully fall towards the floor. Both looked on, mortified as the rich vibrant and ruby red Merlot introduced itself to the whiter than white hallway carpet, in slow motion.

While the flatmate continued to stare at the mess in abject horror.

Paddy could only stare at the flatmate.

Eddie.

-OOO-

Paddy let out a howl like a strangulated wild animal. He slid down wall, his fingers unable to find purchase to prevent his falling. His chest burned with the vain hope that this was not a mirage before him. That if his arms could move, he could actually reach out and touch this vision before him.

Eddie eventually raised his head, to ascertain what had produced this immense over reaction to spilt wine.

Upon seeing Paddy, in shock he dropped the wine bottle that he had retrieved from the floor, for a second time. He too looked as though he had seen a ghost.

"Oh my God Paddy!" Without hesitation Eddie flung himself at Paddy from his soggy kneeling position.

Caught off guard Paddy fell backwards, with Eddie attached to his chest like a backpack in reverse.

"Easy there kid," he managed once the wind had returned to his sails.

Eddie had no intention of taking anything easy. In less than a second Paddy found himself beneath the most intense kiss of his life. Lips, teeth, tongues and gums fought with each other for suction. Foreheads and chins bumped and beat out their own military tattoo too.

Eddie seemed taller lying down.

His limbs wound themselves around Paddy almost double, offering him no escape.

Not that he wanted any.

Paddy's entire body shook. He wasn't sure whether it was with fear, anger or relief.

It was almost too much for his skin to take in.

"Thank God you're ok. I heard such terrible things." Eddie refused to separate his lips from Paddy's so his words came out, truncated, gabbled and wet. Paddy could only nod his head continuously, to convey his wellbeing.

The necessity to draw more air into his lungs, forced Paddy to release Eddie.

"I'm sure as hell glad to see you." Paddy gently rubbed noses with Eddie to prove his sincerity. "I tried to get hold of you kid, I did. I just couldn't find you is all."

"Things were tense, very tense for a while," came the explanation. "Then they went off-the-scale-crazy. Then they ended. I'm fine now."

"I hear ya. I made a visit to crazytown myself."

Despite his recent experiences, Paddy could raise a smile. Eddie took a moment to study Paddy's features, drinking in his pain, before he launched himself on his long-lost lover again. He landed tongue first. He slipped the tip and then the rest in, re-acquainting himself with the taste of his man. His stomach clenched with need. He occupied Paddy's attention for the next ten minutes or so.

Then his memory sprang to life.

"Shit, we need salt."

"Excuse me?"

"Now." Eddie pulled from the embrace "before the red wine sets for good."

Eddie scrambled to his feet, dragging Paddy with him, unwilling to let go of him for a second. They made their way to the kitchen to collect the condiment.

Being the guest, Paddy watched from the doorway as Eddie opened and closed several cabinets, in search of the elusive granule. Finally, family pack in hand, the men revisited the spillage, which now resembled a recently neglected crime-scene. Both crouched down and took it in turns to cover the stain with a thick crust of sodium. They completed the task in silence. It brought back memories, Paddy had always been impressed with how well they used to work together. Not that he ever told Eddie that.

Without thought, Paddy leant across their work and kissed Eddie square on the lips. This was followed by another and another and another. Taking the active ingredient from his hands, Paddy set it aside and lay his lover down. He straddled his former colleague and gazed reflectively into his hazel eyes.

He saw heat.

He saw hope.

He saw desire.

Unblinking Eddie slowly unravelled his ex-mentor's towel and cupped his ardency. Paddy released his second howl of the day, directly onto Eddie's tongue. He bit his bottom lip, harder than he intended. He drew blood which he licked away. Eddie's head jerked slightly, due to the sting and the surprise.

Paddy began to dry-hump Eddie's leg. He soon became frustrated with the sensation of flesh against fabric, and so began to wrestle with his boy's belt - rougher than was necessary.

"It's ok. I've got it." Eddie intervened before permanent nail marks were left. His jeans and his pants soon parted company with his body. Paddy grabbed what he hadn't held for weeks. He let out a groan of satisfaction. Eddie's reciprocal groan conveyed a different message.

A destructive fire was beginning to take hold of Paddy, at the corners of his psyche. He tried to manoeuvre Eddie into position for immediate access. He'd lost the art of patience. He needed this now.

He placed his knee between Eddie's thighs and prised them apart, without care. He licked his fingers; he could still taste the salt. He found his target and plunged two digits in straight away. Eddie slid across the floor a little bit, in an attempt to escape this sudden intrusion. His neck collided with Paddy's teeth.

Paddy bit down hard, harder than anticipated.

There are lovebites and then are just,

bites.

Paddy tried to raise Eddie's right leg to his shoulder. He needed a clear shot. Eddie squirmed slightly.

He required more time.

More finesse.

More care.

_Try a little tenderness._

Paddy made a fist of Eddie's hair which he tugged forcefully, trying to stop his rocking deck from rolling away from him.

The fire was turning into a furnace. He needed to touch skin. Haphazardly he attacked Eddie's shirt buttons.

Not all of them survived the assault.

Once again, he was greeted with Eddie's anomaly; his carpet of chest hair. He closed his eyes and buried his face nostril deep in the warm blanket of curls beneath him.

_He had missed this bliss._

Eddie winced and shifted his right side closer to the carpet. Out of harm's way.

Still on a mission, Paddy aimed himself at Eddie's aperture and began to thrust wildly.

His aim was not true.

He bounced against Eddie's inner thigh and butt cheeks, in a frenzied manner.

_The end of the rope had been reached._

"Paddy stop, you're hurting me."

Paddy was too lost to hear him.

"Not like this - please."

The thrusts continued.

"Not like him!"

Paddy stopped immediately.

Looking up he saw the distress and bewilderment in Eddie's eyes, as good sense re-entered the room.

He gasped and recoiled from his actions.

"I'm sorry. Oh God, I didn't mean to. I don't know what came over me."

"It's ok."

"I lost my head."

"I know."

"These last few weeks have been tough, but that's no excuse."

"Paddy you really don't have to explain - I get it."

"I could've really hurt you."

Eddie reached up and softly held Paddy's repentant face in his shaking hands.

"You didn't though."

Paddy started to cry, his tears pooled in Eddie's palms.

Eddie earnestly searched Paddy's pupils for the truth and found it.

"Sssh my darlin'. It's ok. We're ok."

For the first time Paddy looked down and spotted that on the right side of Eddie's chest, there was a shaved section. Eddie had a surgical adhesive stuck there. Without breaking eye-contact Paddy placed his whole hand over the patch and carefully prised it from Eddie's skin.

Eddie's eyes were now the ones that filled with water.

"Don't" It was a feeble request, which was easily ignored.

Underneath his fingertips, Paddy found a very red, very inflamed broken nipple.

A torn nipple - a nipple without a ring.

Paddy's anger rose once more.

"Did he do this to you?"

Eddie could only nod.

"Bastard. Animal. Let me get my hands on him."

Eddie held on to Paddy's biceps tightly, afraid he was about to leave at that moment.

He whispered hoarsely.

"It was the last straw. I left that day and haven't looked back since. He knows I'm here but hasn't come near. He knows he's beat. He's a coward really."

"I should've been there to protect you."

"You had troubles of your own."

Paddy smiled wanly.

"We're a right pair."

"Made for each other."

Eddie's smile was brighter now.

"C'mere" he dragged Paddy to his feet. "We've got some beds around here somewhere."

Eddie guided Paddy around the blushing Dead Sea and directed him up the stairs, towards his bedroom.

-OOO-

As soon as they entered Eddie's room, the near naked pair flopped down on his un-made bed.

"Sorry, I wasn't expecting guests."

Paddy pulled him close and kissed the tip of his nose.

"No worries I like it. Smells like you"

Eddie gave Paddy a quizzical look.

"You're mad, you know that right?"

"Takes one to know one."

The gentle laughter that filled the air soothed a lot of ills.

Paddy sat up and encouraged Eddie to do the same. He wrapped his legs around, him, yoga style.

Eddie copied. Their excitements touched.

Paddy eased the remnants of Eddie's shirt off his shoulders, with extreme care. He kissed the hollow of his throat, his neck, his shoulders and finally his broken nipple over and over, as if to apologise.

_I wasn't there. I should've been._

Eddie stroked and nuzzled the nape of Paddy's neck in turn - his favourite part.

Paddy's hands found his way to the curve of Eddie's arse - another favourite uncovered.

The heat of their bodies invaded their heads. Their mouths started to provide their very own soundtrack.

Paddy began to run his fingers delicately up and down the sides of Eddie's ribcage. Eddie began to purr.

Paddy's heart beat loudly in his chest. It swelled with pride. He was responsible for this.

Surprising Paddy with his agility, Eddie flipped backwards and reached under his bed. He produced a tube. Unfazed this time, Paddy made a move towards the essential emulsion.

Eddie stopped him.

"No just watch" he instructed.

He leant back against the pillows and pointed his lithe limbs in the opposite directions of East and West. Flipping the lid, he poured a generous amount of gel onto his fingers and brought these to his core. Teasingly, he circled his entrance, making sure that the surface would glisten and catch Paddy's eye.

Mission accomplished.

Eddie then allowed first one, then two then three digits to enter his heat. Paddy listened with an ever racing heartbeat, as these foot soldiers squelched noisily in an out of where he wanted to be. Eddie maintained a rapid rhythm, changing direction frequently. His lips spoke their own language of joy. His eyes rolled back in his head.

Paddy couldn't take any more.

Scooping up Eddie's legs and resting them on his shoulders, Paddy removed Eddie's fingers and replaced them with his tongue.

Eddie hitched his hips instantly as Paddy made friends with his special spot.

_Beginner's luck._

Paddy made a mental note to name this ally.

He explored like never before. His saliva mingled with the shop-bought salve to provide extra comfort.

The scent of Eddie made his soul flutter. He did his best to adhere to the speed that would please his boy the most. Eddie's heels drumming against his back, let him know he was doing a fine job.

"I'm ready now Pads. Yeah, now's good."

Paddy took the hint. He broke from his activity and this time it was him, who felt underneath the bed for a foiled-wrapped assistant.

Once located, Eddie removed it from his hand.

"Here, let me."

He tore open the sachet with ease and popped the content into his mouth. Bending down he expertly glided the protection down Paddy's cock. Giving him an encouraging kiss on his balls when he reached the base.

_He could tie a cherry-stalk with his tongue too; but that was a trick for another day._

Once prepared Eddie wasted no time and quickly climbed aboard the stiff encouragement Paddy presented to him. He bowed down and kissed Paddy, with tongues, sharing his essence and his warm gel. He immediately took charge, setting the pace that Paddy was only too eager to follow.

_This was his homecoming._

Due to the ecstatic moaning and groaning in the room the occasional squeaking and shuddering went unnoticed.

If Paddy had had any lingering doubts as to whether this was truly the right path for him, just watching Eddie, as he flung his head back repeatedly in wild abandonment, made him realise that this was the view, that he wanted to see for the rest of his days.

With that thought, he let himself go and experienced the strongest orgasm of his life.

Just as the bed broke.

Splintering wood and a dramatic dip in the level of the mattress, jettisoned both men towards the end of the bed and onto the floor.

There was a pause.

Before raucous laughter filled the air.

"I just can't catch a break." Paddy observed as he checked to see that Eddie hadn't sustained any injuries.

"Even flat-packed furniture is against me." He shook his head in mock disbelief.

"I'm against you" Eddie snuggled even closer to add literal meaning to his words "and it's where I always want to be."

Paddy smiled softly.

"Leaving weak beds and ex-boyfriends aside, we're gonna be alright aren't we?" Eddie asked.

It was the question Paddy hadn't dared broach in the previous weeks. He scrunched his fingers into Eddie's hair and crossed them.

"I sure as hell hope so kid." He kissed Eddie's forehead tenderly.

"I hope so."

_Fin_

-OOO-

Just before I go, I would like to say thank you to all the readers out there who have stuck with me throughout this story; both visible and invisible. I started this story on a whim and continued due to the incredible support I received.

I thank you all xx.

**Comments are always appreciated.**


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